Trinity Of the Heart: Flashback Series
by consumedbyheavenlyfire
Summary: AH/AU. a collection of moments that occurred in the story before it deviated into Trinity. JxB/BxSam
1. Flashback 1: The Party

**A/N: Okay, so this is a sort of flashback scene if you will. Again, it's dropping you right into the middle of something already happening or that kind of feeling sort of. In this one, it's Bella's seventeenth birthday, three months after Jake and Nicole started to date seriously. Nicole's and David's characterizations are a bit different to what you've already read but that's because I had them going in a different direction initially before Trinity occurred. There are some recollections of Bella's suicide attempt [overdose] as Jake finds out about it for the first time so slightly graphic but not as graphic as it could be if that makes sense. But otherwise, no abuse recollections come up. Remember, only David and Elise know at this point, no one else; Bella doesn't want anyone else to know. So, for now, Ness, Edward, Nicole and the rest think that Bella's downward spiral you could call it is caused by Jake's broken promise alone.**

**Thanks so much you guys for sticking with me and for giving this story a chance though I know it's not everyone's cup of tea and it's not really Twi at all though it's very...HumanJacobandBellaish? It means a lot to me and your encouragement and support keeps me going. Thank you so much for all of your constructive feedback and for letting me hear your thoughts on it all. =)**

**Two quick notes: **

**1) I will eventually post flashbacks to show how Jake and Bella's friendship/relationship/closeness started and progressed as well as some for what occurred during Sam's and Bella's fling in more detail so you can see their growing relationship/closeness, too - to start filling in the confusing blanks. Sometimes, they'll be long like this one or as short as a thousand words being they are certain scenes/flashbacks. But, they will vary upon posting. Some will be in Bella's POV, some will be in Jake's POV and some will switch back and forth between the two (like this one).**

**2) To the two guest reviewers, I'm sorry this is the only way I could reply to you. I completely understand your hesitance to sign up on another external site. However, I chose FWAR for one reason: I needed a safe place to post all of the story including its graphic recollections of the childhood sexual and physical abuse Bella suffered without fear of insulting those who would be offended by such a topic and without fear of reprisal. FWAR is as close to a safe posting environment as I can get in the short time I had for researching options. I'm not sure if this kind of content is allowed on Blogger, I have to check their policy and make sure I'm within their posting guidelines before I do anything. If it's allowed, I will post it on there as well for those who do not want to create accounts on external sites. If not, I'm afraid the uncensored postings will have to remain on FWAR. Either way, I'll post a link for a blog I created for this story on my profile where you can keep up to date with should I post over there. I'll do my best to figure out a solution but if Google doesn't allow it, it's a pretty safe bet, most other blogging sites won't, either, but we'll see. I'll give it my best shot. =)**

**Again, guys, thank you for everything. If you celebrate Easter, I wish you a very happy one. =) **

* * *

I bent down, smiling. "Thanks for the ride, Aunt Alice. I'll see you there."

She waved to me. "You got it, sweetie. See you in a bit."

I shut the door and started my trek up to Jake's apartment which was just a few doors down. Aunt Alice beeped as she left and I turned to give her one last wave.

When I got to Jake's door, I felt around the top for the spare key he always left around for me and unlocked the door when I found it. There was music playing from the stereo in the living room.

"Jake?" I called out.

"Oh, hey, Bells! Just gimme a second! I'm just finishing up shaving!"

I shook my head in amusement, smirking, and stepped into his bedroom, stopping right outside the open bathroom door, staying where I couldn't be seen nor could he. "So, Sam's going to be there, right?"

"Yep. Sam might be a bit late, though. You know him and work."

I chuckled and leaned against the wall.

"Ali leave?"

"Yeah, she just dropped me off, said she'd see us there. I have to tell you, I'm so glad I'm going with you. Now I can hide behind you when we walk in."

Jake laughed. "Now why did I have a feeling that's why you asked me to take you?"

"No," I said playfully. "I also wanted to see you."

He laughed again. "Well, at least you admit it."

"Of course I'll always admit I want to see you. It's the truth."

He chuckled quietly but I still heard him over the hum of his electric razor. "Well, I'm glad. I always want to see you, too. Oh shit, that reminds me. Nic was able to get someone to cover her shift so we're gonna pick her up on the way."

My mood took a nosedive. I couldn't stand his girlfriend. She was twenty five, a strawberry blonde, had a perfect body and thought she knew it all and acted like it, too. I never understood why Jake would date her. But, my main problem with her was being the reason why I had seen less and less of Jake lately as well as why I didn't have my own key for this place anymore. She made it very clear to Jake that she didn't care for his close relationship with his former teen almost-stepdaughter. He never told me that explicitly but it wasn't hard to pick up when he barely touched me even just to say goodbye when she was around. Nicole was nice enough to me, I guess, but...I couldn't forgive her for taking Jake away like she had. Maybe if she hadn't, I could accept her more.

And then I remembered why I wanted to talk to Jake alone tonight. No, maybe I wouldn't ever be able to accept her even if she was the greatest person in the world.

"That's okay, right?"

I cleared my throat quietly. "Um, yeah. That's fine." I forced a chuckle. "I just wish you kind of told me so I could have gone with David. He really wanted to bring me but I told him it was you and me tonight. But, no worries. He can take me home."

"You sure?"

"Yeah," I forced out cheerily. I bit my lip and glanced around the room. I noticed our picture was missing and in its place was one of Jake and Nicole. "Oh, hey, did you move the picture frame I gave you out there somewhere?"

There was a pause and I knew he had hoped I wouldn't notice, meaning he had been the one to move it and not Nicole. "Uh, yeah. I put it up near the TV. This way everyone can see it," he chuckled uneasily.

I felt a knot in my stomach. Up by the TV where pictures of the guys and his family and everyone else were. I had always been separate but now I was part of the "and everyone else" group. The lump started to form in my throat but I pushed it back down. "Oh. That's cool." I walked out of his room before I could see anything else like things Nicole left there or little gifts she gave him. I was going to check out our picture in its new spot but then I realized it would probably depress me more than I already felt when it only reflected the past and not the present state of our relationship. I was being slowly phased out of Jake's life and that bothered me, though I tried my best not to show it.

I perused his DVD collection and all his usual favorites were there, making me smile, remembering all the times he'd made me sit through them with him, trying to convince me why they were the best films out there. However, that smile faded when a few romantic comedies sat at the end of the first row. Jake did not watch romantic comedies unless somebody made him. And I had a pretty good idea who that someone was because it certainly wasn't me.

"You ready to go?" I heard behind me. I turned around, making sure to paste a smile on my face. Jake looked good. He wore black pants, a light colored dress shirt with a tie to match.

"Yeah. You look nice."

He grinned. "Thanks. You look very nice yourself over there. So, how does it feel to be seventeen?"

I shrugged. "The same as it did sixteen."

He chuckled and finished buttoning his right cuff. "Well, happy birthday, anyway."

"Thanks."

He nodded. "So, you all set?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Great. Let's head out then. I told Nic I'd be there in ten minutes. Mind shutting that off for me?"

I kept a pleasant expression on my face and did as he asked. After he locked up the apartment, we walked to the car in his designated parking spot. I was starting to get in the front when Jake stopped me. "Oh, hey. You mind sitting in the back? Since we're going straight to Nic's?"

I bit my lip and closed the door. "Sure."

He smiled gratefully at me. "Thanks."

So, now I was relegated to the backseat, even for just the ride over to pick up his girlfriend. At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if this was the last of Jake I would see for a long while, if not completely.

He asked me how school was going and made general small talk. All things he would have known a year ago and not needed to be filled in on during a bi-monthly visit. He didn't even text me anymore like he used to or call every once in a while. He rarely returned my phone calls and he kept return texts short if I texted him. I was definitely losing him. And I did my best to keep that thought from my head as we pulled into Nicole's apartment complex.

After we parked, Jake whipped out his phone and called her. "Yeah, Nic, we're here. Okay. Yep, see you in a bit. Yep, you, too." My heart clenched inside my chest when I knew what he was probably responding to at the end. I focused my eyes on my hands in my lap.

A minute or two later, Nicole got into the front seat, looking great. "Sorry. Couldn't get Alison to shut up for a minute."

Jake laughed and she leaned over to kiss him hello. "Hi," she whispered.

"Hey," he whispered huskily before kissing her again. And then he started to back the car out of the parking space. "You look beautiful, babe. Absolutely beautiful."

"Aww, thank you." She smiled brightly at him and he picked up her hand, kissing it. I felt sick to my stomach watching all of this. Why didn't I just go with David? I knew why but why didn't I account for this happening? Why?

"Oh, hey, Bella. How are you? Happy Birthday," she smiled back at me.

I forced a polite smile back. "Thank you. I'm doing good. How about you?"

"Couldn't be better. So, you excited for your party?"

I went to answer when Jake laughed. "Are you kidding? She hates parties. She's never wanted one. Right, Bella?"

I gave Nicole a wan smile. "Um, yeah."

"Oh. Well, then, why are you having one now if you don't like them? Won't you just be uncomfortable?"

I seriously wanted to smack her in the back of the head and then Jake for even dating this girl. Instead, I just shrugged. "Not really."

Jake laughed again. "Uh huh. Guaranteed, you'll be polite, make your rounds but you'll find a quiet corner somewhere and disappear like you always do. Right?"

I smiled wanly again, this time at Jake in the rearview mirror. "Right." And then I stared out my window the rest of the ride. Which Nicole didn't seem to mind because she automatically started talking to Jake. I tried to tune them out but when I heard them talking about moving in together, that they had already found an apartment and just needed to pick a moving day, it was hard to miss.

I was no longer beautiful to Jake, just nice. Now Nicole was beautiful. He hadn't told me about him moving. He was embarrassing me in front of his girlfriend for some strange reason. He was doing the kissing the hand thing he had always done to me. I also noted that when she got in the car he went from calling me Bells to Bella...I was completely forgotten. I wasn't his Bells and he wasn't my Jake anymore. Now he was Nicole's Jake.

I was just glad that I hadn't given him the card I had tucked away in my bag for him. He just would have laughed or tossed it when he first got the chance so she wouldn't see it. I don't even know why I bought it or thought he'd like it. It was just a simple thinking of you card, a humorous one to make him laugh. The funny thing is that when I started to write it out to him, I ended up pouring my heart out. I said how much I missed him and how I wished I could see him more. I listed everything I missed about us spending time together and at the very end, I told him I loved him. How he took it was up to him but now I wasn't the most important person in his world anymore. I was no longer his girl. She was.

I just closed my eyes and prayed the ride would end soon and that I wouldn't get sick or cry once.

...

When we arrived, I got out of the car to find Jake taking Nicole's hand and pulling her along, not even looking back to see if I was following. He pointed the fob back at the car over his shoulder, locked it and started chuckling at something Nicole was telling him. I let them go into the restaurant and decided I needed to get some air before I went in. I couldn't have everyone seeing me crying, talk about embarrassing as well as setting myself up for a thousand questions.

I headed off to the side and found a fountain with a bench near it. Why my mother had chosen this restaurant and to hold a party for me in it, I will never know. But at least it was nice and it provided me this little spot to catch my breath.

A minute or so later, I heard a familiar voice. "Hey."

I turned around, surprised. "David. What are you doing out here?"

He smiled sheepishly at me and walked over. He looked nice in his dress shirt and tie as well as his black pants. David had always been very good-looking. Why he ever wanted to date me, I would never know. "Um..."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "You were smoking again, weren't you?"

He sat down, sighing. "It was only one. Just to ease my nerves. Your mom is kind of...she's intense at times. She scoped me out when I got here and started hounding me about what songs to dance to with you, how I should be in this position when cutting the cake and...I just needed a breather."

"Oh no," I moaned. I dropped my forehead into my hands. "I knew this would happen. She's going to make it a nightmare. Crap." I sighed and sat up, lowering my hands. "Sorry she did that to you."

He waved a hand dismissively. "It's fine."

I bit my lip. "You know, thank you for coming to this and putting up with all of it. I know it's...well, nuts," He laughed. "But, it means the world to me that you're here."

He smiled over at me. "Nervous as hell, aren't you?"

"About to have a heart attack actually and die of fright."

He laughed again and I just chuckled, shaking my head. "No, but seriously, I'm glad you're here."

He took my hand. "That makes two of us." He then slid in closer to me. "You know, I might have an idea that can relax us both."

I smirked. "Oh, really? And what would that be, Mr. Renner?"

He smirked back at me. "Just this." He cupped my face gently and kissed me. I could taste the cigarette he had just had; it was disgusting. But I was determined to ignore it for his sake. I didn't want to hurt his feelings. He was rattled and probably forget to chew some gum before going back in.

I smiled against his lips. "I think you've got a great idea there."

He chuckled. "Yeah. I've got an even better idea."

"Oh yeah, what's that?"

"This," He kissed me again, this time passionately but softly as well. He continued to kiss me until all my tension melted away. He drew back and smiled at me, stroking my cheeks. "Happy Birthday," he whispered. "You look beautiful, you know."

I smiled shyly at him. "Thank you."

He grinned and went to kiss me again when a loud throat clearing interrupted us. We turned to look behind us and saw Jake standing there, his arms crossed, looking like he'd rather be elsewhere. Well, now he knew how I felt when he made out with his girlfriend in front of me. "And here I was thinking you'd skipped town to get out of this thing while I wasn't looking." He glared in David's direction. David looked uncomfortable but he cleared his throat and offered his hand to me, helping me up. Jake's glare intensified at him until David glued his eyes to the ground.

That angered me. Who was he to stand there and make my boyfriend feel uncomfortable? I didn't do it to his bimbo, did I? How dare he try to intimidate the one person who tried to make me feel better instead of making me feel like crap on a consistent basis? The one person who thought I looked beautiful and not just nice? Was he kidding me?

I grabbed David's hand and pulled him around the bench towards Jake. "You're right," I snapped. "You weren't looking." I glared up at him as I passed.

David glanced behind us after a minute and gave a low whistle. "Man, I think he was going to take my head off or something."

I snorted. "Not on my watch. It's none of his business what I do or who I date."

"No. I mean, when you said that to him and he watched us walk away. He looked like he wanted to punch something."

I snorted again. "Good." I pulled David into the entrance. "Maybe he'll break his hand if I'm lucky," I muttered under my breath.

I slowed down once there was no need to rush and let David lead me to the private room they had set up, refusing the host's help of finding it since he had been in there before. The doors were closed but I could hear music playing loudly from inside. David smiled at me, squeezing my hand. "You ready for this?"

"Not really."

He laughed. "Good enough for me." He opened the door, pulling us through, keeping his arms around me from behind and walking us both in one step at a time. I felt his chin on my shoulder and I just giggled. But that stopped when I saw the large party my mother had assembled and how they were all now looking at me. To say I gulped and wanted to hide was an understatement.

The DJ on the stage stopped the music and announced the birthday girl was here. Wonderful. Everyone started clapping, rushing at me to wish me a happy birthday. Mom was going to die later and I would get David to help me hide the body.

I was nervous but David kept his hands on me for which I was grateful. I smiled as politely as I could and thanked the well-wishers, saying hello here and there, giving hugs to Aunt Alice, Mom, Nate, Jess and Lise...Everybody I pretty much knew was here, except for my dad and Esme. But I would be seeing them this weekend, flying there tomorrow, so I was okay with that.

Jess and Lise pulled me over to the round table that was designated mine and had them, Brody, Tyler, David, Jake, Mom and Nate listed to sit there and eat with me. I had requested that of Mom, wanting all my close friends there. Aunt Alice was supposed to be sitting with us, too, but apparently Nicole had taken her seat, making her sit elsewhere. I just added it to the list of why I could not stand that woman. She certainly was no close friend of mine. Jake was pissing me off more and more by the minute it seemed. He knew I had wanted Aunt Alice there. Couldn't he have found another place for him and Nicole to sit since she showed up last minute? Unbelievable.

Mom came over to me, speaking low in my ear. "You can mingle later. The DJ's gonna play some music. You and your friends can start dancing."

I rolled my eyes. "Mom, is this really necessary? You know I can't dance."

"The staff needs more time to get dinner out. This is already all set up. Just please do as I ask."

I sighed. "Sure, sure." David appeared next to me when Mom walked away. "We have to start dancing. Feel like taking the risk?" I teased.

Andrew smiled at me. "Sure."

He took my hand and started to lead me away when I stopped. "Oh, wait. I almost forgot." I quickly unbuttoned the sweater I had been wearing over my dress, all buttoned up. I slipped it off of my shoulders and hung it over my chair. I turned back to David to find him staring at me, his eyes wide.

I blushed. "What? Do I look bad?"

He shook his head and swallowed. "No. No. Not at all. You look...good, Bella. Really good."

I smiled and took his hand again. "Thanks."

David leaned in and whispered in my ear, "But you're not dancing with anyone else tonight except me. At least no guys. Not with you looking as hot as you do right now."

I laughed but blushed, biting my lip. I was grateful that the DJ chose then to start playing music. David grinned and lifted up my hand, kissing it. "Let's go." I giggled and let him pull me towards the one thing I hated more than a party: the dancefloor.

...

JPOV

I sat rigidly, watching Ness speaking to Bella in hushed tones. I couldn't believe Bella had snapped at me like that. What the fuck? I wasn't the one that snuck off to go make out instead of walking into my party where I was expected to make an entrance.

I hadn't even known she hadn't been behind us until Ness barked at me, demanding to know where Bella was. I told her I'd go get her and left Nicole to find our table. I figured maybe Bella had freaked out and decided to not go. I knew I'd probably have to talk her into it.

When I stepped outside, I glanced towards the area my car was in the parking lot but I didn't see anyone around there. I then started scanning the area and sure enough, I saw the water shooting up from a fountain in the distance. It was hidden behind some well trimmed trees with lights on them, but I figured if Bella would be anywhere, it would be there. I started walking towards it, thinking of all the things I would say to her to get her to come inside with me.

But all those thoughts stopped short when I saw Bella sitting on a bench with David kissing her. What the- He had pulled away to whisper something to her that made her smile and blush. I couldn't hear what it was because of the sound of the running water but when I saw him lean back in to kiss her some more, I decided it was time to make my presence known. I cleared my throat and they jerked their heads towards me.

I was pissed. I'd had to leave my girlfriend inside to come get Bella because I thought she needed me and instead, I find her kissing this kid, willfully forgetting that there's a fucking party inside with her name on it. But when I thought about it, I knew David had to have been the instigator in this scenario. If Bella had come here to breathe or even if he grabbed her in the parking lot without Nicole and I noticing, it wasn't like Bella to sneak off to get some alone time with her boyfriend. Not when all of her family and friends were waiting inside for her. I couldn't help but glare at him.

When I tried to joke to make the situation less uncomfortable since I had seen Bella kissing this kid, it had the opposite effect. Instead, she had snatched his hand and pulled him away from me back to the restaurant, snapping at me as she went. I was in shock for a second and then I got angry. What the fuck was she pissed at me for? Why, because I caught her making out with her boyfriend? Because she knew I was here to make sure she went inside? What?

I just shook my head, dismissing the thoughts. I refused to get into a shitty mood because of her and make Nicole and everyone else deal with it. Bella had been so hot and cold as of late (she was curt in texts; said how much she wanted to talk to me in voicemails and then bites my head off in person), I never knew what I was getting of the few times I'd had contact with her. I'm not an idiot, I know she didn't like Nicole though she was polite for my sake. I also knew Nicole wasn't so crazy about her, either, especially the close relationship we had, but she tried to be nice for my sake, too. I couldn't make them be friends if they didn't want to be. Bella was important to me, Nicole knew that, but things had changed and I was in a relationship now and in order to make it work, I had to make some compromises.

Like the photo frame I had been hoping she wouldn't notice was missing from my room. I'd had to appease Nicole on that one considering Bella wasn't my biological daughter, one I had raised or was even family. I didn't say a word but Bella _was_ family, no more than that. She was my home and I knew I was hers. She was my best friend; she knew more about me than just about any other girl, including Nicole. But, Nic had made it clear that boundaries needed to be set, to signify that I was taken now and it was inappropriate to be so affectionate with a sixteen year old girl (at the time). She tried to sell it to me, saying it would be better for Bella so she wouldn't be confused but I knew it was bullshit; I knew it was all her and her feeling threatened by the other number one girl in my life. So, in order to try to make things work with everyone, I kept mum when I noticed Bella's picture frame had been moved to the living room to where all the other photos were. I shut my mouth when I saw a picture of Nicole and I had taken its place on my nightstand. I backed off on the physical affection with Bella somewhat in order to maintain the proper "boundaries" Nicole wanted me to so she would feel more comfortable. I made sure Nicole never felt threatened by Bella when she was around whether it was by using her nickname or giving her the rightful place a girlfriend should have at dinner tables, the movies, the car, stuff like that, all at her boyfriend's side. And it seemed to work. Nicole was happier lately and so was I. We had even decided to move in together. Yeah, it hadn't been long, only a few months, but I was crazy about her and I knew she was just as crazy about me. She had already dropped the L word once though I didn't say it back. I wasn't quite at that point yet. Thankfully, she hadn't reamed me out for it, just smiled and kissed me.

So, we were getting more and more serious as time passed. We went apartment hunting which took up some of our time there for a bit, made arrangements to move, get out of our leases, start packing things, etcetera. Unfortunately, because I was so busy with that and had work on top of it, I had started to see Bella less and less. I felt guilty about it. I wanted to see her more, I did, but...this was important and I could always make it up to Bella after Nic and I had moved and were settled in. I'd explain it to Bella and she would understand. I hadn't officially told her about the big move yet but I know she heard us talking about it in the car so at least it wouldn't come as this big shock and generate questions that I really didn't want to answer but knew that I would because it was Bella asking. I could never lie to her.

I felt so distant from her lately. There were a few times she called me and I hadn't been able to get back to her, being so busy, and I told myself I'd call her as soon as I had time, but that time never came. She had texted me a couple of times but it always seemed to happen right at the busiest moments, when I was working on a car or at scoping out an apartment with Nic or at a movie with Nic. I made sure to reply to her but it was short and sweet due to the time constraints. And with the curt manner she'd text me, I felt bad but I had no desire to get back to her that quickly when she was like that.

I missed her. I really did. I missed my best friend; I missed my Bells.

I perked up though when I thought about the gift I bought for her. I had gotten us two tickets to the one play Bella had really wanted to see, never having been to a Broadway before. Yep, just us two. It would be a night for her and me only. I'd take her to dinner and then the play. I made sure Nicole knew that this was strictly quality time for Bella and I, to make up for not being around lately as well as for her birthday. Nicole, while it was obvious she wasn't thrilled, just smiled, kissed me and said she understood, telling me of a parking garage that she knew to be nearby that was cheaper than the usual rates. She had been really great about it and I felt even better about this night coming. It was in two weeks. I was looking forward to it. With that thought, I dismissed Bella's little snipe at me and headed back inside.

When I walked in, seeing Bella and David ahead of me, in the throngs of people, I walked around all of it to see Nic sitting at our table, waving to me. I joined her, kissed her and sat back to watch the show. Knowing Ness, she probably had some sort of agenda planned. A few seconds later, I saw Jess and Elise pulling Bella to our table. I guess I should have known by the two pink and white balloons tied to the chair that that was where the birthday girl would be sitting. I was glad she'd be with us. It would make getting her alone for a minute to talk that much easier.

My smile faded when I saw David approach her when Ness left. David was an alright kid and I guess, if Bella had to date any high school senior, he was the best pick; she certainly could have done worse. But, I don't know, maybe it was just me being the overprotective best friend but I hated how much he touched her, kissed her and had his hands on her period. In my opinion, he was being just a little bit too liberal with the whole 'This is my girlfriend and I'm letting all you fuckers know' touching thing. I knew that Bella was crazy about him and just looking at him, it was more than obvious that he was also crazy about her. But, still, all the same, I wish he'd cool it with the whole being all over her deal. At least for tonight, while I was here. I hadn't come to this freakin' party to watch him constantly feel her up right in front of me, her mother and her friends.

David started to pull her away when she appeared to have forgotten something. I saw her start to unbutton her sweater and when she peeled it off, my jaw dropped. What the fuck was she wearing? She had on a semi-white dress that was strapless and wasn't exactly full in the skirt area. Yeah, okay, it was long enough to keep her from flashing her underwear at everyone and pervs would have to work for it to be able to see anything, but...seriously? She looked good in it, no doubt about that. No, better than good but...whoa. My Bells would never wear something like that; she'd be too embarrassed, trying to cover up. I felt like my heart had stopped inside my chest as I saw my girl uncover all of that skin, showing it to the free world - the male world. Other guys around her, even the taken ones like Brody and even Nate, couldn't keep their eyes off of her.

Apparently, David had the same reaction but recovered from it quicker than I and everyone else did. He leaned in, whispering something to her and I saw her blush. That angered me. I had a pretty good idea what he had just whispered to her and if he thought of unwrapping what he considered to be his own present at the end of the night, he had another thing coming. I'd pick Bella up and carry her to my car, locking her in if I had to.

"Wow. Seems your little Bella isn't so little anymore," Nicole commented. I nearly rolled my eyes at the jealousy evident in her tone. She had not only seen my reaction but Nate's and every other guy's. Obviously, she was pissed.

"Yeah," I murmured. "That's for sure. I wonder what made her decide to wear that."

"I don't know, but...damn," Nate whistled quietly as he watched her walk away in her heels. I had to admit, she looked hot. If it was anyone other than my Bells, I'd be checking her out, too. Especially, since I knew she couldn't walk in heels and hated wearing them, but there she went, walking perfectly in her heels, swaying her hips as she walked unintentionally and whoa, her ass looked great. I felt sick at the thought and turned away, seeing Nate's eyes bugging out of his head as he watched her. "Now I understand why Ness looks so great at her age. Must be in the genes." And then he muttered, "Fuck. Had she been looking like that when I first met her, I'd of proposed marriage right then and there. Just look at those legs, they go on for miles. I've seen them before but...wow," he whispeed. It was almost as if he had forgotten Nicole and I were there, just talking to himself as he took Bella in. Nicole grimaced next to him and took a sip of her drink.

I glared at him. "You done?"

He seemed to jerk out of his stupor and glanced over at me, seeing just how much I wanted to kill him right now. He scratched his head, looking sheepish. "Uh, yeah. Sorry, man. No filter sometimes, you know?"

"Yeah, I do know." I then leaned on my elbows in his direction. "And you better get it fucking fixed. I ever hear you talk about her like that again, I'll put you in the fucking hospital and you'll be eating strained peas from a tube for the rest of your life. You got me?"

Nate glared back at me. "Yeah. Easy, man. I got a little carried away. I didn't mean anything by it." He seemed to think on something for a moment and then tilted his head slightly at me in question. "Come on, when you were with Ness, are you telling me that not once you never thought about how the daughter was looking like a better option than the mother? Especially with how Ness can be at times?" This fucker had a death wish; there was nothing else to it. He wanted me to kill him. Funnily enough, Chelsea watched me with him, waiting for my answer on this one, and arched an eyebrow. Fucking great.

"No," I growled. "I'm not some sick fucking pervert checking out kids. Keep your fucking tongue in your head next time. And if I ever find out you made a move on her or made her feel uncomfortable in any way, you're gonna have me to answer to."

Nicole placed a hand on my chest, keeping me from getting up and attacking this motherfucker. "Sorry, Nate. He's a little overprotective when it comes to Bella." She gave me a pointed look, telling me silently to sit back down.

"Fuck off, Nic," I snapped. Her mouth dropped in shock as I got to my feet, almost knocking my chair over, and stormed away from them.

I knew I had overreacted but this was Bella that sick fuck was talking about. He was fucking Ness and planning on beating off later to Bella. Fucking sick motherfucker. I was going to take care of this problem right now.

...

BPOV

"David," I complained. "I can't dance to this. I suck."

He laughed. "Come on. I'll help you, okay? Just let me move you with me."

I blushed but allowed him to do just that. Since it was Bruno Mars' "Just the Way You Are", even though it was a bit uptempo at most parts, David pulled me into him and took my hand in his. He moved us in slow circles. "I'm gonna spin you now. Slowly." I bit my lip but he did it, grinning at me when he was finished.

"That wasn't so bad," I beamed.

He winked at me, making me chuckle. He then pulled me in closer than last time, singing along with the song quietly, near my hair. I felt guilty as I listened to him. Why couldn't I love him? Why couldn't he be for me what Jake was, or used to be I should say? Why couldn't I let this silly infatuation, as my mother would call it, go? I took a deep breath and smiled by the time David moved back to look at me, smiling himself. He kissed me softly and then I laid my head next to his, smiling when he kissed my bare right shoulder.

"Yo."

David and I both looked up to see Jake absolutely fuming. My brows furrowed. What was wrong with him? Was he really that pissed that I had snapped at him?

"Sorry to interrupt but I gotta talk to her a minute. Mind if I cut in and you get the next one?" He gave David a look that left no room for any kind of refusal.

"Uh, sure," David looked over at me confused. "I'll come get you at the end of the song, babe." He kissed my lips and then walked away, still glancing back at us uncertainly.

Jake filled my vision, taking David's place. He placed his right hand on my back and grabbed my hand with his left. He started moving us around as slowly as David had.

"What's up?" I asked, trying to remain cordial.

"You tell me," he snapped. "What's up with that dress?"

I blushed slightly. "It's a dress. What's up with you giving me crap about it?" I snapped back.

He glared down at me. "You might as well be wearing a towel for all the skin you're showing. It's barely covering your ass."

I scoffed and pushed him away, going to leave when he grabbed my hand and pulled me off into a corner. "Why are you so intent on making me feel like shit tonight, huh, Jake? It's my birthday! What is it with you and this day?"

He ignored me. "You need to put your sweater back on. Had I known that was what was underneath, I wouldn't have driven you here until you changed."

I scoffed again, staring up at him in angry shock. "Last time I checked, Jake, I'm seventeen, not twelve. You're not my father. So, stop acting like it."

"No, you're right, I'm not," he growled, leaning in, glaring at me intensely. "If he were here, he'd be flipping out way worse and probably dragging you back home to change. I'm giving you the option of covering up before I do that."

My face burned. "You've got a hell of a lot of nerve! What, you're gone for three months and suddenly you show back up and think you can boss me around? I don't think so!" Who the hell did he think he was?

He ignored me again. "All the guys are checking you out! Even Nate was checking you out and I almost killed him for some of the shit he said!" Uh oh. What exactly had he said? "Even Nicole was shocked!"

That made me snap. "Like I give a shit what she thinks of me or says! She's just jealous!"

He snorted. "Of what? Wearing something that flashes an open for business sign to the whole guy population in this fucking place? The way you're dressed right now is giving your boyfriend the green light, making him think you're _his_ present for later tonight. I saw the way he was looking at you!"

"Good," I hissed at him. "Because that's exactly what's going to happen at the end of the night! And it's not like it hasn't happened before!" It wasn't true, by a long shot, but somehow I just knew that would be the worst thing I could say to hurt him. Somehow...

I saw some anger drain from his eyes and then they tightened in pain. "Who are you? You're not the Bells I've known the past two and a half fucking years."

I wanted to hurt him, just as badly as he hurt me. "The Bells you knew is gone. She disappeared bit by bit with every phone call you didn't return, every text message you sent that made it clear I was a bother, every time you canceled plans with me before that first month so you could go off and screw your girlfriend!" His face didn't change but something flashed in his eyes and for the first time in a long time, I couldn't read him. "That Bells isn't here anymore. She grew up and stopped waiting around for someone who promised never to leave her but then walked away from her the first second he could and all for a piece of ass! I'm seventeen, I wear what I want, Mom bought it for me, David's okay with it and I am certainly okay with it. Don't like what you see? There's the door," I gestured to it behind me with my thumb. "It's not like you're really here for me anyway. You don't forget someone exists especially when it's that someone's birthday, because your girlfriend is around. You don't not hug your supposed best friend after three months of you ignoring her. You don't put your best friend in the backseat of your car and keep it open for no one just so your girlfriend won't see you possibly sitting next to her. You don't make fun of her in the car on the drive over, in front of someone she doesn't know all that well! And you certainly don't say fuck you to her by tossing a goddamn photo frame she put together for you and that you lied to her about, saying how you wanted it on your nightstand to look at every night when you fall asleep because of how much you miss her and then replace it with you and your girlfriend who you see all the time anyway! You're not here for me. Who are you kidding? Yourself? I'll tell you what this is. It's the yearly obligatory appearance, staying for an hour or two, and then bouncing and going off to screw your girlfriend some more and even that appearance will disappear by next year. You're not here for me, Jacob. You haven't been for the last three months and some things changed in that time. You don't like the changes? Too bad. You don't get to have a say anymore. You lost that right the first time you bailed on me to screw her in your apartment! Oh yeah, you didn't know that I knew about that, did you? Remember how you lied and told me you were sick, making fake coughing sounds and everything on the phone? I bet you didn't know that like the idiot I was back then I believed you, made you some soup and walked, that's right, walked all the way to your apartment, let myself in with my key, thinking you were sleeping, only to hear you and Nicole getting it on with her screaming how good you were fucking her and you telling her how good she felt! I left, I cried, I got over it. Big deal. All you had to do was be honest with me but you couldn't even do that! So, _Best Friend_, you don't get a say at all in what I choose to wear! None! Everyone else was there to pick up the pieces that you couldn't bother to give a shit about, David being one of them! So fuck you and fuck your goddamn macho bravado bullshit! Feel free to leave! This way Alice can get her seat back, another person who was there when you couldn't care less! Fuck you, Jake! Fuck! You!"

I stormed away, ignoring the pained shock on his face when I mentioned how I had known he had lied to me that time he said he was sick. I hadn't meant to let that out or anything I said, but I was pissed. How dare he insult me and what I'm wearing all in one breath when he couldn't be bothered the last three months? I found David and grabbed his hand.

"You okay, babe? He didn't yell at you, did he?" He glared back in Jake's direction.

I shook my head, smirking. "Nope. He just didn't like what I was wearing and wanted me to change. I told him to go to hell. I can't be bothered worrying about him. Now, as for you, Mr. Renner, I want you to come with me." He nodded, making me smirk wider in my satisfaction and I pulled him out into the hall.

...

JPOV

I was still reeling from everything Bella had said. I felt so fucking bad. I'd hurt her worse than I had imagined.

And that fucking day I was supposed to pick her up and take her to the movies...I'd fucked up there, big time. I had no idea she had made soup for me and walked it over. I had no idea she was even there. After all the shit she'd heard when I was with Ness, she had to hear me and Nic going at it, knowing I'd lied to her. Fuck.

I honestly had intended to keep our "date" as we called it but Nic showed up unexpectedly and when I told her where I was going, not thinking when I used that word, she had lost it. I had barely calmed her down when she told me to cancel my supposed date or we were done. So, in order to appease her, I did just that. Then she pounced on me and we ended up fucking...most of that night. And now...

I felt like fucking crying when I imagined Bella letting herself into my apartment, hearing that shit, realizing the truth, leaving to go back home and crying the whole way, constantly wiping her face. I felt a lump in my throat when I remembered I was supposed to take her to see a movie she had been wanting to see for months and she wouldn't see it without me. And then I...

I slumped down in my chair and dropped my head into my hands.

"So, I take it the whole dress talk didn't go too well?" Nicole asked from next to me.

I lowered my hand and shook my head, looking up at the table. "No," I nearly whispered.

Nicole sighed and pulled her chair closer to me, taking my hand in hers. "Look, I'm not going to yell at you for snapping at me like you did because I know you were just upset by seeing Bella dressed the way she was. I think we all were a little shocked. So Nate said some things he didn't mean and you got upset, snapped at both of us and then walked away. Bella's not your responsibility, Jake. She has a mother and a father. If Ness has no problem with what she's wearing then unfortunately, you're going to have to let it go."

"You know how Ness is, Nic. I don't want Bella turning out the same way."

"Maybe so but Bella is seventeen now and it's her birthday party. She has a boyfriend and all of her friends are here. She's not a kid anymore. You can't treat her like one. This is what I was trying to tell you when we talked about your relationship with her. It's too close and I think this proves it. You still see her as this bright little kid that you need to swoop in and protect every now and then but she's anything but. She's almost an adult, legally. Right now, she's old enough to drive, have a boyfriend, graduate from high school and even have as much sex as she could possibly want." I grimaced at that. "My point is that she's not exactly a woman yet but she's almost there. She's no longer a little girl. And while I'm glad she has a boyfriend, your closeness and physical intimacy would confuse her and it would no longer be innocent." My head snapped up and I glared at her. "On her part. She won't see them as innocent touches or brotherly hugs or best friends embracing or whatever else you guys used to do. You're an older guy, she trusts you implicitly, you two have a special kind of bond only you two understand, you're very attractive, you make her laugh, you're protective of her, you make her your first priority and make sure she knows it and then you add in the physical stuff and bam, she's gonna start thinking other things about you other than friendliness."

I sighed and hung my head. "It's not like that, Nic, and you know it. I almost married her mom. She was almost my stepdaughter. I'm ten years older than her. I don't see her that way and to be honest, I doubt she sees me that way, either. Especially, now. Trust me, Bella's smarter than that. She understands things that most kids her age would have no clue about. I've told you this. She's practically thirty in her head."

Chelsea sighed herself. "Maybe, but that just makes it even more possible. You may not want to see it but I'm telling you, the potential is there. Other people around you have seen it. Remember everything you told me? Why do you think Ness was always so jealous of you two?"

I snorted. "Because I wasn't making her number one and showering her with all of the attention. That's it."

"Ah, see? Because you weren't making her number one. Like you should make your wife. Like you should make your girlfriend. Bella's not your kid. You didn't even raise her. Yes, you looked out for her and helped her out while you were there but you're not now. You and Ness aren't together anymore. She's moved on with her life and so have you. The only person who hasn't moved on is Bella." She sighed again. "And she needs to."

I didn't even bother mentioning just _how_ much Bella had moved on already. Besides, I had heard this whole speech already. Many times in the last three months. I was tired of it. I rubbed my forehead, exhausted. "I know." I took a deep breath and got to my feet. "Listen, I'm gonna call Sam and see what time he's gonna be here. I'll be right back, okay?"

She smiled in understanding and nodded. "Sure, baby. I'll be here. Take as much time as you need."

I smiled back at her. "Thank you." I kissed her quickly before leaving the party. I took a right and headed down the hallway, passing the bathrooms. I turned the corner and took out my phone, dialing the shop number. As it started to ring, I heard a giggle in the short distance. A giggle that sounded almost exactly like Bella's. I shut my phone and crept down the hallway. I heard the giggle again. That was definitely Bella.

I peeked around the corner and what I saw nearly drove me fucking insane. Bella and David were making out, up against the wall. That wasn't what horrified me. What horrified me was seeing David's hand, or actually not seeing it, underneath the hem of Bella's dress. His arm was definitely moving, slowly but still moving. Bella moaned into his mouth and then broke away, breathing harshly, eyes closed as David moved to kiss her neck. She gripped the collar of his shirt tightly in her left fist, burying her face into his shoulder, letting out another quiet moan.

I don't know why but I felt like crying again rather than get pissed that David was fingering Bells right in front of me. I felt like I didn't even fucking know her anymore. Had she really changed that much in three months? She wouldn't be like this had I been...around. What the fuck had I done?

Her moans started coming in rapid succession, getting a little louder with each one along with her panting. Eventually, she had to bite down on the knuckles of her right hand that was laying on his left shoulder.

"That's it, babe," I heard David breathe. "That's it. You look so beautiful when you let go like this." He watched her as he started to move his arm faster. "Yes, babe, that's it." Her eyes slowly opened and her face was all flushed. As much as I hated what I was seeing, I had to agree. She was fucking beautiful. He started to kiss her, swallowing most of her moans. He then whispered to her lips, "I love you so much, Bella." And the sad part? I knew what he was saying was real. It was all over his face as he stared at her. He was completely enamored with her.

"David," she moaned. "I love-you, too," Bella panted out before grabbing him with both hands and smashing her lips onto his. I couldn't take anymore. I walked away, feeling sick to my stomach. I made it down the hall a little ways before I slid down the wall and placed my elbows on my knees, holding my head in my hands. I could still hear them surprisingly but I couldn't move. I felt numb to everything except the sickening feeling spreading throughout not only my body but my soul. My heart ached in my chest. If this was how Bella felt all the times she'd heard me have sex, especially the last one being with Nicole, then I definitely deserved the dose of my own medicine I was receiving right now.

I heard Bella reach orgasm and maybe if it wasn't her, I might have been turned on by the sounds she made. But, it was Bella and there was no arousal coming from this. Nope, only nausea. I then heard them kissing loudly and Bella letting out a few breathy laughs. I heard David jokingly tell her that that was only half of her present. I then heard her telling him it was only half of his, too, and that he would get his later tonight when they were alone. Then there was more kissing. I shut my eyes, trying to keep the tears that were burning at the corners of my eyes from being able to spill. What the fuck had happened these past three months? Had she really been that lost without me and then because she had started seeing this fucker before I saw her for the last time, he had turned her into this? My Bells was innocent yet wise and absolutely not naive. How could she just let some asshole finger her in a goddamn hallway of a swanky catering restaurant?

I barely heard the giggles and then the steps approaching me, turning the corner or them stop suddenly along with any other sound. "Are you alright?" Bella, not Bells, asked coldly. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. I opened my eyes and got to my feet, ignoring them, and went back to the party, not looking back once.

...

BPOV

I watched Jake slowly walk away and I longed to run after him, pull him into a hug, kiss his cheek, run my fingers through his hair like he loved, something. But, I couldn't. I had a statement to make and I had made it. He got the message loud and clear finally. Though I was horrified at being overheard as David rubbed me through my underwear, especially by Jake, I didn't regret deciding to move forward with the former tonight. I had been nuts to think I'd save myself for the latter. He'd never want me, never see me as anything other than his little Bells. And after I had unloaded on him earlier, all of the anger and hurt came rushing back, reminding me of why I couldn't trust him now.

"Shit. Do you think he heard us?" David asked.

"Don't know, don't care." I smiled and kissed him. "It's our business, not his. Now, come on. For the first time in my life, I feel like dancing." I winked at him and he laughed, putting his arm around me and pulling me in for a kiss before leading us back to the party.

...

JPOV

I walked back into the party and headed straight for the bar. I ordered a beer and pulled out a chair at some random table, sitting down. I couldn't go back to our table just then. I couldn't talk to Nicole right now or deal with Nate checking Bella out or even look in Bella's direction. I needed to get my bearings back first.

I was angry, fucking hurt as hell and angry. I didn't like this Bella she'd become at all. This one was a cold hearted bitch and was obviously trying to become her mom, at least in the sex department. I was surprised she didn't just fuck the kid right there in the hallway. Hadn't she said they'd already gone at it? Why wait until later tonight?

I scowled when I saw Bella come back into the party with David who had his arm around her. Bella grinned when a couple of girls approached her, talking to her about something. David rolled his eyes and Bella saw, laughing. She pulled him to her for a kiss and said something. He then smiled at her, kissed her one more time and walked off towards his friends. Bella stayed there, nodding and listening to the girls, laughing every once in a while and talking herself. I studied her as I watched her.

Bella was beautiful, there was no doubt about that. As much as I despised that excuse of a dress, I had to admit, she looked really good in it. The dress accentuated her legs which turned out to be one of her best assets. The outfit showed she had all the right curves of the beginning of a woman's body. Her hair was down in large soft curls, almost like a girl would wear to a wedding or a prom or something. She had make-up on and the eyeliner made her eyes pop. Her smile was gorgeous and when she laughed a genuine laugh, I didn't think there was any other girl in this room that looked as amazing as she did when she laughed, Nicole included.

Nic had been right. Bella was no longer a kid. Right now, I was looking at a beautiful young woman. Perhaps the most beautiful I'd seen in some time. Don't get me wrong, I was crazy about Nic and she had an amazing body as well as being pretty but right now, in this moment, she had nothing on Bella. And the most ironic thing is that Bella didn't even realize how gorgeous she was. That made her all the more beautiful.

The serving staff started to place food on the tables so I retreated back to my rightful place. Nicole smiled at me as I sat down. I honestly didn't even have the energy to smile back. I just sighed tiredly and leaned over, kissing her cheek. She smiled wider and went back to talking to Nate. I took a sip of my beer, my eyes immediately finding Bella again. She had laid a hand on one of the girl's shoulders, saying something, smiling and walking towards our table. I kept my eyes glued to my plate, waiting for our dinner or salads or whatever it was to be served.

I saw her take her seat across from us out of the corner of my eye, making sure to look anywhere but in my direction. I snorted quietly and took another sip of my beer. Yep, if I realized someone heard me fucking around, I'd be uneasy, too. David joined her a second later, kissing her before he sat down. She smiled warmly at him and he lifted her hand, kissing it. I shook my head and sighed quietly. I just had to get through this sit down dinner. I didn't have to stay for the dancing, gifts or even the cake. But to leave before dinner after Ness had already paid for it would just be rude. So, I would wait until the plates were cleared and make my excuses and leave. If I didn't happen to say goodbye to Bella on the way out, oh well.

Soon, everyone else joined us and then our food was served. I kept my eyes down the entire time unless someone else was speaking, but as soon as it was Bella or that fucker, I focused on my food.

Ness had finished and was leaning her elbows on the table, her hands clasped in front of her mouth, smiling. There was a break in conversation and apparently she chose right then to speak. "You know, I must say, Bella, I'm quite proud of you." We all froze and looked up at her. It was no secret to anyone at this table that she was never complimentary of Bella.

Bella's brows furrowed as she put down her glass, not looking embarrassed whatsoever like she would when the attention was on her. Just another thing Bella had taken away from my Bells; I hated it. "How so?"

"Well, you're seventeen now, a young woman. You have a wonderful young man who loves and adores you." David smiled at Bella and she returned it. Ugh. "You've made so much progress in the last three months ever since you-"

"Mom," Bella interrupted. "No need to go into that," she chuckled uneasily. "Thank you, though." She smiled warmly at her mother. "It means a lot to me that you think that."

Ness grinned. "How could I not? I mean, you've got a portfolio and that ad coming out, not to mention the sin-"

"Mom!" Bella turned red now and everyone's mouths were agape. "I love you but if you keep talking, I'm afraid I'll have to kill you and mess up this incredible dress. And I will get David to help me hide the body." He chuckled.

"A portfolio?" Nicole asked.

"An ad?" Jess asked excitedly.

Bella smiled unhappily and took a sip of her water, not looking at anyone.

"Bella, you should be proud of your accomplishments. I am. Bella has a portfolio of professional pic-"

"Okay," Bella cut her off, getting to her feet. "Obviously, I can't make it across the table fast enough to duct tape your mouth shut and the threats aren't working," A couple of people laughed. "So I think it's time I went and spoke to my guests."

Ness sighed and said something in what sounded like French. My jaw dropped. I didn't know Ness knew French or any other foreign language. I had never heard her speak it before.

And more surprisingly, Bella answered her in perfect French. I stared at her with wide eyes. Who the fuck was this Bella? She had never known another foreign language other than the Spanish she was forced to take in school and she only knew a little bit, if that.

It was obvious that Bella was not happy. I along with everyone else didn't need to understand what she was saying; it was pretty clear from how worked up she was getting. Bella finished her little foreign tirade with a huge irritated sigh.

Ness shrugged. She then spoke something else and gestured towards Bella with her hand. Bella rolled her eyes, said something else, kissed the top of David's head and then walked away, glaring back at her mother before turning to stop at a table.

I looked back at Ness in shock as everyone else did. "Um, what did she just say?" Jess asked, echoing everyone's thoughts.

Ness sighed, shaking her head and sipping her wine. "She doesn't want me to continue talking about her and kindly asked me to keep my mouth shut." A few more people chuckled distractedly.

"Where did Bella learn to speak French?" Nicole piped up. "I had no idea she spoke it so fluently." She turned towards me but I only had eyes for Bella. I watched as she worked the room, almost like a pro. Who the fuck was this girl?

"In Paris," Ness answered.

My head snapped back to my former fiancee. "Ness, Bella's never been to Paris."

Ness glared over at me, scoffing. "Yes, well, I keep forgetting that you had other things to do other than remain in Bella's life as you promised her upon moving out. I warned her you wouldn't keep it, like a typical man, but she still believed you would. It would seem I was correct, wasn't I?" Everyone looked down at their plates uncomfortably except Ness, Nicole and myself.

I glared right back at her, not letting her see how guilty I felt. "Well, Ness," I picked up my beer. "Not too much has changed in my absence. You're still a bitch."

She went to speak when Nicole cut her off. "Forgive me for saying this but Bella is not Jake's responsibility. He's not her father, her brother, her uncle, her cousin or any other blood relation. He didn't raise her. Why should he have to be made to feel guilty for living his life? Why the hell would you put that kind of expectation on him? Either of you? It's ridiculous!"

Ness was furious and this wasn't going to be good. Shit. I should have known that would rile Nicole up. "Nic," I shook my head at her when she looked over at me. "Look, Ness is right. Bella's important to me, you know that. I made her a promise and I didn't live up to it. That's it. It doesn't matter if I had an obligation to be there or not, I told Bella I would be. And I wasn't. It was my fault. Ness is just speaking the truth. Let it go."

Nicole glared at me and I knew I was in for it when we left. Her lips formed into a tight thin line. "Fine," she said through gritted teeth. "I still say it's ridiculous but whatever. If only all of your ex-girlfriends were so lucky to be so completely emotionally dependent on you as well. Not to mention their kids."

Ness went to snap at her but I beat her to it. "Nic. Enough. Come on," I said, irritated. "Let it go."

She scoffed, shaking her head and went back to eating her food. "Whatever." Yep, I was definitely in for it on the ride home.

I sighed quietly. Great. Just another thing to add to the list to make my life a living hell tonight. "Ness, when was Bella in Paris?"

She smiled proudly. "This past summer. Her father took her there to get away for a while."

My brows furrowed. "Get away? From what? Here?"

Ness scoffed at me. "That's right. I forgot you didn't know. Well, everyone else here knows except you and your paramour I imagine. Bella had a slight accident before school let out." A quick glance at Jess and Elise confirmed this as they looked sadly at Ness. Though, Elise seemed more perturbed than anything at what Ness had said. Brody glanced towards David and the latter frowned, staring down at his plate. Shit. What the hell had happened? Even Nicole was looking Ness' way, wanting to know what she was talking about.

"A slight accident?"

Ness sighed sadly. "It's not something she likes talking about for obvious reasons. Sam is the only one in your group who knows about it and I'd like to keep it that way."

I did a double take. "Wait, Sam knew? And he didn't tell me?"

Ness shrugged. "I imagine Bella asked him not to and he most likely gave her his word. And _he_ kept his." She glared at me pointedly. Nicole's face reddened in anger and I just sighed tiredly.

"Ness, just tell me what happened please. You've got me scared shitless right now. What happened to Bella?"

David got up and we all turned to look at him. "Excuse me but I'm headed to the restroom. I'll be right back." He walked away, looking upset. I turned back to Ness, brows arched questioningly.

"It's very hard for him to talk about that night," Jess answered quietly. "He was the one that found her. They had just started dating a couple of weeks before that." Brody got up, sighing, and laid his hand on Jess' shoulder. "I'm gonna go see if he's okay," he murmured. She nodded and kissed him before he left.

Me? I was currenlty on the edge of a heart attack. "Found her? What the fuck are you not telling me, Ness?"

"Bella was going into a bit of a downward spiral right before it happened. I don't know how it happened. You know, Bella, Jake. She feels down sometimes but nothing to this extent. I knew she had started seeing David and I had hoped that would perk her up. He's always been so good to her and he absolutely adores her." I could see Ness' eyes getting glassy and I knew this wasn't good. My heart was pounding and I could feel my stomach in my throat practically. "It did help but unfortunately, it only prolonged the inevitable. Bella started going to parties and drinking quite heavily. This started before she and David began dating. I had no idea it was going on until one night, Jessica and Elise here," Both girls stared down at their plates silently. "Brought Bella home late one night, completely intoxicated. After I sobered her up, I did my usual, I grounded her and told her if she didn't clean up her act, there would be worse consequences. She promised me it would never happen again. Unfortunately, it did. There were nights she didn't come home and I would have to call one of the girls to find out if she was with them or David. Usually, one of them had taken her to their houses to sleep it off and then would bring her home the next morning. She started missing classes and then eventually, whole days of school. She spent half her time hung over and the other half drunk."

"Why didn't you fucking call me? Or Bella, for Christ's sake?" I nearly yelled.

Ness glared over at me. "She did. You never called her back." I felt like she had stabbed me in the chest with that information. She didn't let me reel too long, though. "I spoke with her father countless times on the phone as well as her grandfather and Alice, trying to decide what would be the best route to take. Bella was getting alcohol from somewhere, no matter how many times we tried to prevent it, and other than locking her up in the house twenty four seven, I couldn't stop her."

"Call the police!" Nicole raged. "Or put her into a rehab program!"

"Oh, yes, sound advice coming from someone who isn't even a mother but also happens to be partially responsible for the pain my daughter has suffered!" Ness hissed.

"Me? How the hell am I responsible for Bella going off the deep end?" Nicole was losing her temper now.

"Shut up! Both of you! Ness, enough with the cracks. What the fuck happened?" Nicole glared at me but I didn't care. I needed to know what the hell had happened to my girl.

"Well, regardless of what some might think," Ness scowled in Nicole's direction. "I had no wish to put my daughter in jail or into a rehab facility unless I had absolutely no other choice. Her father agreed with me. We all tried to talk to her. I tried severe consequences but still it didn't work. I threatened to throw her out but she just laughed at me and said I would probably be doing her a favor. She was angry all the time, more sarcastic than normal. She never cried in front of me. But she did in front of the girls and apparently to her father."

"So again," I growled. "Why didn't _you_ call me?" I was gonna beat the shit out of Sam for keeping this from me.

"I was going to," Ness snapped. "And I told Edward as much. He said that based on a conversation she had had with Esme, that it wouldn't do any good. It would probably only make her worse if I involved you."

"How the fuck would it have made it worse? I would've talked to her, begged her to stop. I would've locked her up in my apartment until she dried out and taken her to get some special counseling or something. I would have helped her!"

"She didn't want your help. At least that was what she told Esme. Apparently, you," She pointed right at me. "Were part of the reason as to why she was going down this path. Bella never told me but Esme mentioned something about soup." My heart stopped. "I never knew what that meant but Esme said that was all Edward and I needed to know. That Bella had spoken to her in confidence. You know, I used to hate that woman so much but after how she helped Bella, I have to say, I approve." She did indeed nod in approval as she said it. Had I not been so worried about Bella, I might've been shocked. What, had everybody done a fucking one eighty the last few months I hadn't been around all the time?

"Soup?" Nicole asked, looking at me. "What the hell does that mean?" I didn't say anything. I just sat there in shock. "Jake? What's this about soup?" I couldn't speak; I could barely breathe. I had hurt Bells so badly that day.

"Anyway," Ness continued, completely ignoring Nic. "This all happened within a matter of a few weeks if you can believe that. It started in the end of May, right after Memorial Day weekend. Unfortunately, right before school was to be let out, Bella did something I would have never thought she would ever do." She took a deep breath, obviously trying to prepare herself for this next part. "One night, she was at a party that some senior boy was having at his house, some graduation party or something. There were no parents around, obviously, and alcohol was being served. David had taken her there. He-"

"If he knew Bella had a problem, then what the fuck was he doing taking her there?" I hissed.

"David took her there to keep an eye on her. Just as the girls did from time to time. It was either that or Bella would find her own way to that party and then try to get home on her own and possibly end up doing something even worse. He didn't take her there because he didn't care about her, Jacob. He took her there because he wanted to watch out for her. Bella was going to go no matter what. So, rather than argue with her and possibly not be allowed to help her and look out for her, David took her instead and she didn't leave his side. Except the one time..." My jaw clenched. I was gonna fucking kill that kid.

"Are you telling me that Bella was so damn strong and intimidating that not one of you took her elsewhere to keep her occupied or forced her to stay home? That her boyfriend couldn't have taken her to a movie instead? Or her friends to the mall?" Nicole asked in disgust. "Are you really going to tell me that there wasn't any other alternative but to take her to a place where kids were partying hard and she could get a hold of the good stuff?"

"Hey," Elise snapped, all of us looking at her in shock. "You weren't there, okay? Bella was out of control. We all dealt with it, not you. Or you." She turned a glare on me. Whoa, what the fuck? I had never seen Elise raise her voice above a whisper practically. "We all did. We all cared about Bella. You two were too busy humping each other to give a damn! Don't sit there and judge the people who were there! You weren't!"

"Excuse me!" Nicole was about to start.

"Yeah, that's right! Bella heard you two going at it when she went to make sure Jake was okay when he lied to her about being sick and couldn't see her! All to bang you! That's what the fucking soup reference is about! That's why Bella didn't call Jake! Because you were hell bent on making sure he wasn't around so she could see him!" Elise's face was red. Jess was had her arm around her shoulders, telling her to calm down.

"That's it! I don't have to take this shit! Some little high school bitch like you is going to sit there and talk about me like I'm some fucking whore? It's not my fault precious Bella was being nosy and walked in where she didn't belong, overhearing us! It's not my fault she took it so hard because she thought she was it in Jake's life! That's on her! Not me! And I certainly never kept him from her! He was free to see her at anytime he wanted!" Okay, now that was bullshit.

I could see Elise getting riled up. But Ness spoke next, directing her anger towards me. "That's what the soup reference was about? You lied to Bella so you could get laid?"

"Fuck you, you psycho manipulative bitch! Stop making your kid so goddamn dependent on the guys you fucking trap!" Nicole yelled.

We were all getting loud and the other tables were starting to look over. Even Bella, with her brows furrowed, was looking our way, probably wondering what was going on. Okay, I'd had enough.

"That's it!" I snapped. "All of you shut the fuck up! Nic, chill out. You and I both know why that night happened the way it did so don't say another fucking word. Lise, I get that you're pissed and protecting your friend but direct your anger at me, not my girlfriend. Ness, you can ream me out later. Now, tell me what the fuck happened! And do it quietly, everyone's looking at us and even Bella is wondering what the fuck is going on! Before she comes over here, fucking tell me already!"

Everyone was silent. Nicole sat back in her chair, scowling with arms crossed. Nate excused himself to make a quick call to a friend outside. Elise glared at me but didn't say another word. Jess kept rubbing Elise's shoulder soothingly but glued her eyes to their plates. Ness also glared at me but sighed. "Fine. But yes, you are definitely going to hear from me later on this. You're obviously to blame, partially. So, yes, we will be discussing this later," she hissed.

Nicole opened her mouth to retort when I slapped the table, loud enough for them to listen up but not for everyone else to hear. "Nic! Enough! Let her talk!"

Nicole gave me such a glare that had it been any other time, I might have tried to appease her. Because that glare promised retribution later. Oh well.

Ness cleared her throat, glaring in Nicole's direction. "Anyway," She then turned the glare onto me. "That night, David stayed by her side. When he went to the bathroom quickly, he asked a friend of his to watch out for her until he got back. Unfortunately, the friend didn't and Bella somehow got so much alcohol on her hands, she was drunk by the time David returned. She said she felt sick so David helped her to the bathroom. She asked him to get her some water and there were no containers in the bathroom he could use so he ran to the kitchen, grabbed a cup, ran back only to find she had locked the door on him. He kept pounding on it, telling her to open up. He called her cell phone over and over and kept trying the lock. He tried for a good ten minutes but he was so scared she passed out, he started banging into the door. Some boy asked him what he was doing and he told him and the boy helped him break through the door only to find Bella on the floor." Ness took in a ragged breath. "David found a few different prescription bottles as well as all different over the counter medication containers empty on the floor next to her. She had taken them all. David called 911 and kept begging her to wake up, trying everything he could think of. He did everything the operator told him to but still, she was unconscious. The ambulance came and rushed her to the hospital. There, they pumped her stomach and said with some of the prescription drugs she took and the amounts, if David hadn't broken down the door, Bella wouldn't have made it." A tear slipped down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away.

I dropped my head into my hands, doing my best not to lose it. I had to keep reminding myself that Bella was here now, safe and sober. Or else I would just break down in front of the whole room.

"Edward and Esme flew here immediately and we all talked, deciding that time in a mental ward of the hospital was not what Bella needed. She needed a distraction, something to occupy her mind and get away from everything familiar for a while, no places or people that would trigger memories of whatever it was that she was trying to numb herself to, whatever was causing her pain. As furious as I am at you, Jacob, this was not all because of what happened with you and that disgusting spectacle she witnessed. There were other things, too. She wouldn't tell me and she wouldn't tell Edward. The only person she let in during that time was Esme. And David. She didn't tell him everything like she told Esme but he was the only one she was willing to listen to. She felt very guilty for what she had done and that he had had to witness it. She knew she had a choice to make and so she chose to go with Edward and Esme to Paris for the majority of the summer. There she started to make some real progress. Edward wanted to nurture her creativity, to help her experience all life had to offer. He talked her into getting some professional photos taken and he booked her a photoshoot and an advertisement for perfume over there. Don't ask me the name, though. She recorded a single, a cover of some song she chose. Edward had gotten her a voice coach and she worked so hard and the single, it is so beautiful. Do you know that you can actually buy it on iTunes? I have no idea how Edward was able to swing that, but he did. He, Esme and I were agreed on one thing only: Bella was our main priority and we'd do whatever it took to make sure she never tried anything like that ever again. To show her that life is never _that_ bad, no matter how much it hurts. We put all of our squabbles aside for her sake and decided to leave the past in the past. The only thing that mattered was the future, Bella's future. So, I took a week off from work during the summer and I traveled out there to visit with them. I brought along Nate and David as well as Jessica and Elise so they could see how well she was doing. She was very happy to see all of us. By the time we got there, she was speaking French almost fluently. Edward and Esme had been teaching her as well as her being in the city and dealing with merchants and the like." I looked over at Ness and she was staring off into space, smiling warmly.

"I wish you could have seen her. She was absolutely radiant. I don't think I've ever seen her that happy. I think the only time she ever came close is when she was with you, Jacob. But...she was shining and I had never been more proud of her. She took us to see the Eiffel Tower and to her favorite cafe and bookstore." She chuckled. "Leave it to Bella to find a bookstore even in a foreign country she's never been to before. Edward told me she had done a fashion show a few days prior and he showed us all the tape he had made, with Bella turning red and covering her eyes, begging him to turn it off of course." She laughed and shook her head. "She looked magnificent. And apparently, though she wasn't model material as she put it, the designer loved her. He helped her along with Edward, kind of took her under his wing if you will. He was a very busy man but he always made time for Bella to come and visit him. I don't know how, but Bella just does that to people." She smiled proudly. "Anyway, he took her shopping along with Esme and for once, she actually enjoyed it. She bought a whole new wardrobe, got new books of course but some in French which she can now read, write and speak fluently. She picked it up so fast; she's such a smart girl. Edward, Esme and Henri made sure she experienced Paris to the fullest. She showed us everything, was so excited. She took the girls shopping and went out with David on a date. She spent a lot of time with him as well as us. She didn't come back until the middle of August but it did her so much good. She came back happier and more alive than I've ever seen her. She and David picked up right where they left off. Bella will have to make up all of the extra school work as she goes along into the new year but she's determined to do it. She wants to go to school and she might choose one in Paris. Henri offered to put in a good word for her. Her father bought her very first car for her and she and I redecorated her bedroom as well as some areas in the house. She and I became a lot closer once we discussed some things. Bella and I have both been in counseling since she returned. The therapist thought it a good idea to have a party for her, help her to celebrate her birthday since she never really wanted to before." She smiled. "Henri sent her these two beautiful pieces he had done along with the most beautiful roses you've ever seen. She was so excited when she called him to thank him. He even told her he might be coming to the city for business and if he does, he wants her to come and see him. He even offered to help her pick up her modeling career if she wanted to continue."

Nicole scoffed. "It must be nice to have money," she muttered as she sipped her drink.

I wanted to fucking yell at her. I understood this wasn't the norm but did she not hear the part where Bella tried to fucking kill herself?

"Bella's father, stepmother and I worked very hard to make the money we do. Edward has built his company from the ground up. Esme and I have both busted our asses to get to where we are today in the companies we work for. If we want to spend it on Bella, we will do so. She never asks for anything. Anything! So don't you dare sit there and act as if we're some rich snobs who inherited our daddies' money. We worked for it!" Ness hissed.

Nicole went to respond when I put a hand on her arm. "Stop," I whispered. She glared up at me, but sat back, shaking her head, not saying a word.

"Edward is CEO of his company. I land million dollar accounts at my advertising agency every day. _Every_ day! And Esme is one of the most respected publishers on the eastern seaboard!" Then she had a thought. "Oh, that reminds me. Bella is also working on a book. She has already released two e-books and while they aren't best sellers obviously or you would've heard of them, she's done pretty well for herself. And she makes her _own_ money now!"

Nicole scoffed again. "Yeah, that you guys helped her to get. She wouldn't be hearing from ol' Henri or receiving free fashion pieces or selling ebooks or music singles without any of your help."

Ness looked like she was ready to burst but I spoke. "Nic, I don't give a shit about any of that. Ness is right, they all work hard and Bella is that talented and a hardworker herself but I'm not focusing on that right now. Bella tried to kill herself and that's what concerns me. If you love me like you say you do, that should concern you, too." She glanced up at me and I glared at her. Her jaw tightened and she focused her gaze back onto her plate, not saying a word.

"Ness, if Bella has her own car why did she ask me to drive her here then?"

Ness cocked her head as if trying to ascertain whether I was being serious or not. "Why do you think, Jacob? Because she wanted to spend some time with you. However, that doesn't appear to have happened now, has it?" She scoffed and got to her feet. "Anyway, that's how her summer's been and I am immensely proud of my daughter for all of the progress she has made, with and without help." She glared in Nicole's direction. "I would remind you all that this is Bella's birthday party. If anything, and I do mean anything, is said or done to her to make her upset, trust me when I say you will answer to me and I will make a trip in Hell look like a tropical vacation with what I will do to you. Don't think I can? Try me. Screw with my daughter and you screw with me." She purposely kept her eyes on Nicole but the latter just shook her head, refusing to look up. "Oh and Jacob, you and I will be discussing all of this later for sure. I want Bella to enjoy her party, not to be miserable during it or be upset. Not a word until you and I have spoken. Do we understand one another?" Normally, I would have been sarcastic or rolled my eyes or gotten pissed but this time, I had no problem with it. Bella was top priority, I got it. I nodded. "Good. I will determine whether I think you would be beneficial to Bella's life from here on out and if you will still be allowed to see her should you so choose. If not, you will be legally prevented from seeing her or contacting her. You know I can do it and I will if I have to in order to keep Bella from getting hurt again. I will not allow my daughter to go through any more pain you see fit to cause her. I hope I'm making myself clear. If you really care about her like you say, then I'm sure you'll agree, she's the main concern, not our failed engagement or your new...relationship," she said dripping with disgust. "It's strictly about Bella and we need to put our disagreements aside in the interest of making sure she's safe and happy. So, I will speak with you afterwards. Don't go anywhere unless you choose to drop your date off at home and come meet me at the house to discuss things. It's up to you. And trust me when I say, as bad as you think I am, you'd much rather be dealing with me than Edward. Even though Esme never told him what Bella confided to her, one thing was clear: some of her pain had been directly, or indirectly, caused by you. He was livid and ready to come after you in any way he could, but Esme and I talked him out of it, telling him that Bella would be upset if he did. So, like I said, should you choose to remain in Bella's life, you'll heed what I'm telling you." In shock, I just nodded. "Now, I should go make arrangements for the gift opening soon. Girls, would you mind assisting me?" Jess nodded and she and Elise both got to their feet, following her without a word. Elise made sure to glare at Nicole and I as she did.

I didn't think I would ever get my head to stop spinning. I felt like I had just entered the fucking Twilight Zone. What the hell?

"Hey," Nicole and I both looked up to see Bella smiling uncomfortably at us, her brows still furrowed. "Everything okay here? Everyone's gone..."

I nodded, scrounging quick for a viable explanation. "Yeah. Uh, David went to the bathroom I think and uh, the girls are helping your mom. Nate had a call to make so..."

"Oh. Um, okay. Well then, they should be back soon." She sat down and glanced around nervously, looking for David's return presumably.

"I think I need a drink. Or three. And I won't be back until I'm done. I'm not bringing any of that back to the table." Nicole got up, went to kiss me when I glared up at her as Bella's cheeks reddened, scoffed in disgust and walked away without looking back at either of us.

Bella kept her eyes on her plate, her fingers nervously playing with her napkin. For the first time since we had arrived, I saw my Bells emerge, the self-deprecating unconfident humble and easily embarrassed one, and it broke my heart. "Are you sure everything's okay?" She mumbled and then cleared her throat. "I mean, with the others? You guys seemed pretty intense over here before. Mom didn't start anything, did she?"

I shook my head. "No. I mean, yeah she and Nic got into a little argument but it's nothing more than the norm. They'll get over it."

Bella nodded. She placed her elbows on the table and clasped her hands in front of her mouth, thinking. She then lifted her eyes to mine. "Listen, Jake, about what I said before-"

I held up a hand, shaking my head again slightly. "No need. I get it. It's not like you were wrong."

Her eyes narrowed, scrutinizing me. "Okay. Something did happen. More than what you're telling me. What happened? Seriously." She looked worried and I hated it.

I got up and sat next to her slowly, leaning forward to face her. "Why didn't you tell me that you were there that day? When I was..." I swallowed thickly. "Occupied."

She looked uncomfortable but she kept my gaze and this time, didn't once look away or blush. Bella, the one I couldn't stand, was back. "I didn't see the need. I obviously walked in on something private going on between you two. So, I just turned around and left. I walked home. It was over and done with. I didn't feel it was something I needed to talk to you about."

I sighed sadly and took her hand in mine. "Well, I wish you would've. I'm sorry it happened." I pulled her hand up to my lips and kissed it tenderly, lingering there for a minute, before looking up at her again. Her eyes were a little glassy but otherwise, she kept whatever she was feeling hidden well. Another change I hated. "Bells, I feel like such a fucking idiot. No, worse. Your mom was telling me some of the things you'd done, like photos, music-"

She pulled her hand away, this time looking irritated. "Yeah, well, I wish she hadn't." She turned to face the table and took a sip of her water.

"Why?"

She shrugged without looking at me. "Because it's not something worth talking about."

My brows furrowed. "Yes, it is. You spent your summer in Paris, I mean, that's pretty incredible right there. I'm surprised Sam never told me you were out of the country," I chuckled nervously.

She shrugged again, this time looking at her nails. "It must not have come up in conversation."

She was stonewalling me, great. Well, it's not like I could blame her. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. "Yeah, well, I wish it had. Sam's gonna get a swift kick in the ass for that one."

She shook her head, smirking. "Is that your answer to every problem? Just kick some guy's ass and poof, it's all good?"

I smirked at her. "Yeah. It usually works pretty well. I've had about a ninety nine point nine percent success rate."

She turned, smirking wider at me. "Really? And what about the point one percent?"

I took her hand in mine again, intertwining our fingers and holding it in my lap. "I beg for forgiveness and hope to hell it works because I can't imagine not having that person around." She didn't say anything so I continued. "I have to talk to your mom about some things after this is over but I would really like it if I could come see you at the house and talk like we used to. There's so much I want to talk to you about."

She bit her lip and looked away. "I would like to but I'm afraid I've already made plans. Maybe another night."

Not only did I feel like my heart dropped into my stomach, I got angry knowing exactly what plans she was referring to. I scoffed angrily. "Yeah, I remember," I muttered, looking towards the table next to us.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Bella's head snap in my direction, her eyes narrowed. "Well, now I know why you looked so devastated and sick in the hall when we saw you. I'm surprised you didn't come around the corner and give him a swift kick in the ass, too. Or me. What? Enjoy what you heard? What you saw?"

I glanced at her, my eyes narrowing as well. The look in her eyes was slicing right through me. Something told me I had to be very careful answering this. As I suspected, this wasn't my Bells talking to me right now. She wouldn't be so forgiving if I said the wrong thing. "No."

Bella removed her hand from mine and rested her chin in her hand, watching me. "Really? And why is that, Jake?"

I had no idea why I thought it, I knew it was a sick thought, but for some reason, my instincts told me that what I had witnessed earlier had been some form of punishment. "Your point was made."

"Point?" She asked innocently. "What point?"

I gave her a look. She was just messing with me now. "That it wasn't any fun hearing you having sex with someone else."

"Hmm." She lowered her hand. "Well, actually, one, David and I weren't having sex, not the fun kind anyway and two, why was it no fun hearing me specifically reacting to sexual stimulation? Most men would either enjoy it, want to participate or just walk away. You didn't do any of the three."

I grimaced and looked down. "Why are you doing this, Bells?"

"Answer the question," she snapped.

I glared up at her. "Because I didn't want him touching you like that. I don't want any guy touching you like that."

"And again, why?"

"What do you mean why? Because I care about you and I don't want some guy with his hands all over you or inside you for that matter. I mean, Jesus Christ, Bells, do you want me to be happy about it? Rate it? Give you a performance review? I mean, what? What do you want?"

She didn't appear to be flustered by my reaction. "But again, why? If it's something I'm enjoying which you clearly saw and heard that I was, then why would you be as upset as you were after witnessing it? Being angry's one thing but you seemed almost...ill over it. I'm not your sister and I'm certainly not your daughter. We're not even related. You didn't raise me when I was a kid. So, again, why?"

I scoffed, shaking my head. "Because I don't want him touching you." She sighed and took another sip of her water, not looking at me. "What? Is that not a good enough reason? Not the answer you were looking for? Upset I didn't join you two? Or sit there and clap? I mean, what? Tell me! What the fuck do you want from me?" I was getting pissed. This wasn't my Bella. No blush whatsoever, talking about me seeing her having sex or being sexual, whatever you want to say, and not being embarrassed about it? Her giving me this mindfuck of a head game or whatever? It wasn't her.

She turned to look at me. "Okay, it's obvious you're not going to give me the real answer. I don't know if that's deliberate on your part or not so let's try this another way. What did you feel when you saw it? What made you slump to the floor like that?"

I sighed angrily. "I was sick about it."

"And?"

I wiped my hand down my face tiredly. "I don't know. I was nauseous...upset...I almost wanted to cry...I was angry...hurt...confused. I felt like I was going nuts maybe, was hoping it was a hallucination or...some sick dream, denial, I don't know. Is that enough Dr. Freud or should I keep going?"

She shrugged. "Would you say devastated is an accurate word, depicting all of those feelings in a lump sum?"

"Okay, I can see you've been hanging out with your dad a lot recently and not just 'cause your mom told me. Yeah. Devastated. There you go. Now, are we done talking about this? Because I really don't want to get into details. You're seventeen, you can do what you want, I get it. I'd rather just forget I saw the whole thing, if you don't mind."

She leaned forward and for some reason I was reminded of a lion or a tiger, a tiger definitely (I had always called her that) moving forward slowly towards their prey before attacking. Her hands were on both of my legs as she leaned forward and I swear I stopped breathing for a second. I almost felt like she was some other woman, being extremely forward and coming onto me. Why else would her hands be on my thighs and I could almost see down her dress from the angle she made sure to position herself in? I wanted to look away but I knew it would make her even angrier with me and I didn't want that. She slithered up (there's no other way to describe the movement she made) and whispered in my ear. "It hurts listening to the person you find yourself in love with having sex with someone else. Really hurts."

I jerked my head back. "What? Are you fucking bonkers, Bella? You think that I'm in lo-"

She got up, smiling wanly. "I wasn't talking about you." She patted my shoulder sympathetically and then left to go talk to her mom.

I watched her go, frozen in shock. What the hell did she just say?

...

BPOV

Yep. Let him sit on that for a while. The lying bastard. How the hell was I still in love with him? How could I be in love with someone who so willingly hurt me? David was the one I should be in love with. David was the one I would give myself to tonight. I had to get Jake out of my mind and heart for good. One of the things I had learned over the summer is that if something is blackening your soul, dragging you down, and is completely bad for you, no matter how much you love it, you have to let it go or it will succeed.

So, I would force myself to do what my heart hadn't already done for me.

I approached Mom as she spoke to the DJ. She saw me coming, finished up her conversation quickly and met me halfway. "He's going to start playing the songs you requested shortly. How are you enjoying yourself so far?"

I shrugged and wrapped my arm around her shoulders. Mom and I had actually come pretty far in the last three months. She was actually now someone I trusted a little more and looked to for help if I needed it. "It's nice. Everything's really pretty and I'm having a lot of fun actually. I'm glad you insisted we do this. I'm enjoying myself." I gave her a warm smile and she gave me a hug.

"I'm glad, sweetie. It's a shame your father and Esme couldn't be here. I wish they could have made it."

"That's okay. I'll be seeing them next weekend. It'll be nice to spend some time back in Massachucetts even if for only a couple of days."

She pulled back, smiling. "I bet."

"But I do have to ask you something."

Her brows furrowed. "Sure. What is it?"

"What was going on at our table before? It seemed like you all were arguing. Jake said you and Nicole just had a little tiff, that it wasn't anything major. But she made some kind of remark and went to the bar, leaving Jake and I alone at the table."

Mom frowned. "Oh, really? And what did she say exactly?"

"Nothing worth worrying about. She said she was going to get a drink or three and then left." I hadn't missed Nicole's little comment afterwards but I would definitely not tell Mom that one. Mom had no great love for Nicole, same as me, but if I gave her ammunition like that supposed comment that was definitely geared towards me, I was sure of it since she scowled my way when she said it, Mom would go right after her. And as much as a secret part of me might enjoy it, I didn't want to create any scenes. I just wanted one birthday that was nice and didn't have any drama attached to it. Was that too much to want? "But, I don't know, she seemed very...I don't know, pissed off. Is everything really okay like Jake said?"

Mom sighed. "Don't be mad at me, Bella, but I told Jacob and that little slut exactly how I felt about her keeping him from you and for him going along with it."

"Why?" I asked, truly curious.

"Because it's obvious he hurt you and by the way, I know what the soup reference is now. Elise let it slip by accident. She was defending you to Nicole so don't be angry with her. I will be speaking to Jacob later about that, by the way. But, that woman he's dating is just so...abhorrent."

She watched me nervously but I just laughed. "I couldn't agree more. Well, then I guess a thank you is in order, to you and to Elise. So thank you." I hugged her. No, I didn't want anyone to fight but to hear my mom talk about speaking her mind to the one person I blamed for taking my Jake away, then I was willing to look the other way if need be.


	2. Flashback 2: Valentine's Day

**A/N: This is a flashback scene of Sam and Bella about a week after they hooked up for the first time. It kind of gives you a tiny bit of insight into why Bella currently, besides loving him, is so obstinate about maintaining a relationship with Sam even with Jake there. =)**

* * *

I pulled up to the shop and parked. I got out in another mini and sexy top but this time with knee high boots and a coat and scarf on. I scanned the bays and the parking lot quick and was relieved when I didn't see Jake anywhere or his car. As mad as I was at him, I didn't want to hurt him.

And then I realized what day it was (which was why I was here) and why he most likely wasn't around. I didn't see Jeff or Aidan, either and I bit my lip and closed my eyes, trying not to let any of the pain in. And then when I heard _his_ voice, yelling to Jared about finishing up what he was doing and then running to pick up their lunch (apparently it was another late one), it jerked me out of my misery and and urged me forward.

I stepped into the garage and Jared's and Luke's heads both snapped towards me when they heard the click of my heels. Their eyes widened in shock and Jared actually let out a wolf whistle. I arched a brow at him as I walked. Sam turned around from talking to Luke and his eyes widened as well but the shock was gone faster for him than the others; he had seen me put together like this already.

"Damn, Bella, you look hot!" Jared looked me up and down in appreciation. "You all dressed up for me?" He teased.

I rolled my eyes. "Not you. I have a date later. Being Valentine's Day and all. How about you?" I smirked at him. It didn't escape my notice how Sam's jaw tightened and how he walked away for a moment to grab a rag to wipe his hands. That saddened me. Did he really think I would rub something like that in his face after what happened between us?

Jared glared at me. "I don't need a date. The women flock to me. Besides, this is a fucking stupid holiday if you ask me. Just the candy, florist and condom companies coming together to make a profit. Nothing more."

I arched a brow at him again. "Sounds like somebody's bitter."

Luke chuckled and Jared flipped me the bird while Sam's back was turned, making me chuckle as well. Sam came over to face me. "Hey, Bella. What's up?"

I turned to look at him and smiled. "Hey, Sam. I was wondering, can we talk for a minute?" He looked unsure, seeming annoyed. "I promise, it'll only be a minute. I don't want to interrupt anything."

He gave me a curt nod and tossed the rag onto the work bench. "Sure," he said rather clipped. That surprised me and even Luke and Jared glanced at him in confusion. Sam was never short with anyone except them. And even then, it was due to work or that he was just messing around. He had never spoken to me that way before and they knew it as much as I did.

Sam walked away, causing my brows to furrow and look towards the guys who just shrugged and went back to what they were doing. I followed in Sam's wake and walked into the office after he passed through the open door. That was even weirder; Sam had always held a door open for me and any other woman or girl. It was ingrained in him; Sam was just a gentleman like that. So, for him to act so out of character right then, I knew something was wrong.

I closed the door behind me and turned to see him sitting on the edge of the desk, arms folded across his chest and staring at me, with a blank expression on his face. His dark eyes were unreadable at best. I walked over to him. "What's-"

"If you're looking for Jake, he's not here. He won't be back until tomorrow."

That sliced into my chest. I had known that but to hear it confirmed hurt. "Well, good for him. Now, what's wrong? You seem upset."

He cleared his throat. "I'm not upset. I'm fine. It's just been a stressful day. Now, what's up?"

My brows furrowed further. "I wanted to come by and tell you I-"

"You have a date later. I know, I heard you."

I placed my hands on my hips and glared at him. "No, that's not what I came by to tell you but now that you mention it, yeah, I do."

"Great. Have fun. Listen, I'll tell Jake you stopped by. I've gotta get back out there. So, if there's nothing else..." He got up and started towards the door.

"Sam, would you just-"

"I'll see you soon, Bella. Enjoy your night." He opened the door, walked out and closed it before I could say another word.

The corners of my eyes burned as the tears built up. Apparently, I just wasn't wanted, by Jake or by him. Why would I be? I sniffled and wiped my right cheek. I stepped into his office and removed what I had hidden under my coat. I laid down the small heart box of dark chocolates (since I knew he preferred dark to milk, like me), the small little stuffed wolf I'd found (since I knew how important wolves were to the Quileute tribe), the single red rose I'd gotten him and the small envelope with his name on it. I sniffled again as I arranged them all together and then wiped my cheek one more time before taking a deep breath and leaving through the main office door to go back out to my car.

When I was out of there and driving back home, I bit my lip to keep from crying. I could break down at the house all night if I wanted. God knew I had more than enough time now. I kept trying to tell myself that it wasn't as bad as Jake not wanting me around but it certainly felt that way.

...

I wasn't on shift but I went into the bookstore anyway. Jason had a date which I was very happy to hear when I got it out of him the day before. Mel was on by herself, now having been fully trained.

She certainly wasn't happy with me. I had scheduled her for tonight, thinking not only would I have plans but I knew Jason would need help (before I knew he had a date) and Jenna was going out with her boyfriend. Lena didn't have a boyfriend but she had a date with Drew, a guy she had been crushing on for the last year and a half. Mel, as far as I knew, didn't have a boyfriend so she was the odd man out. She hadn't let me hear the end of it for the last two weeks since I handed in the schedule to Jason. I asked her if she had a boyfriend and she told me she didn't. I asked if she had a date and she told me no, she did not. So, therefore, she should be able to cover for everyone who did have dates and/or significant others. She didn't like that answer and had been an even bigger pain in the backside than normal. So, naturally, when I walked in and went to the back to take care of a few orders for Jason that he would have to catch up on tomorrow, Mel started on me and didn't let up.

I sent in some orders while she bitched at me nonstop. The sad part is that I was going to offer to take over for her and let her go home. But, when she hit me with that attitude, I quickly forgot that offer. It got to the point where I just decided to lock the door until I could finish up the orders for Jason. I felt bad for any guy foolish enough to date her. I was a girl and even I was tired of her nagging.

The knob was tried and there was a knock on the door when I was only twenty minutes into completing customer online orders.

I sighed angrily. "Yes?"

"There's some guy up front asking for you."

My heart did a strange little leap. "Who is it?"

"I'm not your secretary, Bella. I didn't take a message. Just get up front," she said nastily.

I glared at the door, shaking my head. I really hated dealing with that girl sometimes. I got up, unlocked the door and started making my way up front. I could feel myself getting excited but I kept trying to tell myself it wasn't who I was hoping it was. Why would he suddenly have a change of heart and come see me today of all days? Plus, I wasn't scheduled to work. How would he know I was here? No, it was probably David or someone from school looking for notes they needed or even one of our regulars who preferred for me to help them over Mel (which, could you really blame them?). There was no way it was Jake.

And sure enough, it wasn't. There stood Sam in front of the counter, his eyes finding me as soon as I stepped out of the back. My brows furrowed as he walked over to the edge of the counter where I had stopped.

"Hey. Everything okay?"

He nodded once. "If you're not too busy, I was wondering if we could talk a minute?"

"Sure. Just come back with me. I gotta finish up these orders." He nodded and started to follow me when Mel's annoying voice stopped me. "You can't have people in the back, Bella! You know that! Those are Jason's rules!"

I sighed angrily again and turned to Sam. "Just go straight to the office in the back. It's on the left. I'll be there in a minute." He nodded and passed me, going through the entrance.

I glared at the current bane of my existence. "Mel, I want you to understand something. Most of the time, I put up with your crap because Jason needs you on when Lena, Jenna and myself can't be on. So, I make nice and try to keep the peace for him." She gave me a smug smirk and lifted her nose into the air snottily. "But, fuck that!" I yelled, making her eyes widen as I approached her quickly. "Understand something, Mel. I've been helping Jason run this store before you other three were ever hired. I'm the fucking assistant manager. I do more work in one hour in this store than you do the entire month. Don't like it here? Fucking quit already and make my life easier! But if you think Jason's going to give a shit that I had a friend visit me for five minutes in the back when I came in, unscheduled, to fill orders to help him out while he was out on the first date he's had in two years, you've got another thing coming! So, go right ahead and tell him if you want to! Call him tomorrow when you're not on or better yet, come see him to bitch! Either way, I don't give a damn and I am tired of your bullshit! Keep talking to me the way you have been and I will fire your ass tonight! And the beauty of it is that Jason won't care because I'll have someone else to take your job who will be ten times better and not bitch once about it! So shut the hell up already! Do we understand each other?"

She glared at me and kept her nose up, looking down it at me. She went to say something when I cut her off.

"Fantastic. Don't bother me again unless you're being held up or the fucking store is on fire!" I spun on my heel and stormed into the back. I went into the office, finding Sam in the chair in front of the desk. I closed the door and sat down at the desk, looking at him. "Sorry. What's up?"

"Uh, nothing. Everything okay out there?" He gestured at the door.

I nodded. "Yep. Just practicing different management strategies. Tonight was the threatening-your-job approach. I think I handled it quite well." He chuckled and I smiled. "So, what's up? Everything okay?"

He nodded. "I got what you left for me and I just wanted to say thanks. That was nice of you."

I shrugged. "It's fine. It's Valentine's Day. Everyone should get a little something." I flipped through papers on the desk until I found the next to last order. "To be honest, I don't have much experience with the V-day thing so, sorry if they were a little lame." I chuckled at the end, looking up at him, before moving the mouse on the screen.

"They weren't lame at all." He smiled. "I've never gotten a flower from a girl before on Valentine's Day. Usually, I was the one buying the flowers."

"Now, see, that to me is just an outdated practice." I selected the books needed as I talked. "If women are so eager for equality, equal pay, equal rights and all, which of course I am, too, shouldn't we stop having those kinds of expectations from the guys? When we're not expected to return it or even go all out like they do? It's ridiculous. So, feel special, Sam. That rose isn't just a flower, it's a statement." He laughed and I chuckled again, clicking the enter button. "So, how'd you know I was here?" I turned to look at him, curious.

He scratched his forehead. "Um, Katie told me."

I nodded once. "Ah." I should've known; now that she was in with the guys and on her first date with Aidan, I was due for some meddling even though this one instance, I didn't mind so much.

"Yeah. I knew she was out with Aidan so I figured it would be safer to text her and ask her. It must've been a good thing, too, 'cause it took her twenty minutes to get back to me."

I laughed. "Yep, I'd say you definitely avoided an awkward phone conversation there."

He chuckled. "Yeah." He then cleared his throat quietly. "I wanted to, um, apologize for earlier." My brows arched and I turned to look at him. "I didn't mean to be...rude to you. It's just...today's not a good day...for me."

I nodded again. "Don't worry about it. It's not such a great day for me, either, so I get it."

"Well...it's a little bit more than that for me." He looked up at me, seeming like he didn't really want to say. "You see, this is the day...I asked...Emily to..."

My mouth dropped. "Oh. Sam...I'm so sorry. I didn't realize it was...you know, today."

He cleared his throat again. "I know you didn't. I never told you and only Jake knows so...but, uh, I just wanted to say I'm sorry. Whenever this day comes around, I'm always in a not so nice mood," he chuckled nervously. "And, uh, hearing everybody have plans and dates and all that crap never really puts me in a better mood."

I nodded once more, smiling kindly at him. "I understand that."

"Which, uh," Sam's brows furrowed. "Shouldn't you be out, too? Didn't you say you had plans tonight? I mean, I'm glad you're here so I could catch you quick but weren't you supposed to go on a date or something?"

I watched him in confusion, wondering what on earth he was talking about when it dawned on me and I chuckled. "You idiot." His jaw dropped. I shook my head, still chuckling. "I was talking about you. I wasn't going to tell Jared who I had plans with of all people."

"Me?"

"Yes, of course, you. I went to the shop earlier not only to give you your gifts but invite you over for dinner." I smirked, shaking my head again.

"Crap."

I shrugged one shoulder. "Mom was going to be out with Nate tonight and then she was going to stay at his place afterwards so I have the house all to myself for the night. I was just thinking I'd make you dinner." My smirk faded. "Had I known, I wouldn't have made any plans or anything. I'm sorry."

"No, don't be. I'm the one who should...you know, be sorry. And I am...sorry, that is. I had no idea...that's what you meant."

"It's fine," I smiled wider at him as he bit his lip, looking down at the floor. "I didn't exactly make myself clear so don't worry about it." I went back to the screen. "Crap. Don't tell me they don't have this book," I muttered. I heard a click that I hadn't made and saw Sam locking the door before he walked over to me. I could feel my heart beating a little faster with each step he took. He sat on the edge of the desk, looking down at me.

"I have no clue what happened last week, Bella. I have an idea but I'm still not sure. I didn't hear anything from you afterwards so I figured it was just a one time thing."

I bit my lip. "I didn't know what to say," I replied quietly.

He nodded. "It's been five years since Emily did...well, you know. I've dated, had a couple of girlfriends here and there, had the usual one night stands, all of it. I'm still not over her. I hate to admit it, but it's true. I'm never gonna feel that way about anybody else. I know that now and...I accept it. So, now, I might go out on a date, usually as a favor to someone, or I might have a one night stand, which is pretty much the case more often than not but I don't bother with anymore than that. There's no point in leading someone on when I know it's not gonna go anywhere, ever. If this is a sex thing because you're hurting over Jake or whatever other reason, then fine. It can be a friends with benefits kind of thing if that's what you want. But, you need to know it can't go any further than that. I can't be a stand-in for Jake."

I stared up at him sadly. "I never thought you were."

He brushed his fingertips against my left cheek, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, and then cupped my chin gently. "I'm not saying you did. I'm just saying that I can't become what you wanted Jake to be to you. I'm your friend, Bella. And I'm here for you. But that's it. Nothing more than a close friend. It's important you know that up front before we do anything...else."

I nodded and slowly got to my feet. "So, just friends with benefits? That's what you're saying?"

"Yeah."

"Well, to be honest, I was just gonna invite you over for dinner as a friend and then for dessert, get you into bed and have tons of gratuitous sex for the rest of the night, but now that you've opened that can of worms then I might as well skip the veal and go right for the other meat." He laughed and I smiled, happy I could make him do that on today of all days, now knowing what it signified for him. "Alright, Mr. Uley, I'll make you a deal. You come over for dinner and that dinner will be your benefits for the evening. If you still want to continue this...thing we started, then I'm open to it. Okay, bad choice of words right there." He laughed again, shaking his head at me in amusement. "I meant, I'm open-minded. It's...seven fifty one right now. If you haven't eaten, why don't you just come over? I'll make dinner quick and you can tell me all about the cars you fixed today."

His brows arched in surprise. "You really want me to bore you like that?"

I snorted. "You know shop talk turns me on. Why do you think I attacked you at the garage?" I smirked wickedly at him.

He chuckled. "Good point."

I nodded once in approval. "I've got...five minutes left here and then I'll be good to go. You mind waiting or-"

"Actually," He got up off of the desk, looking down at me. "I've gotta go drop something off quick. Can I meet you there?"

I smiled. "Sure. I'll be out of here in five, home in ten, and you just come over whenever."

He smiled back at me. "Okay. I'll see you then." He leaned down, kissed me and was out of the office quickly before I could even react.

I smiled once I had a second to think. I appreciated Sam's honesty though I felt bad that he believed he'd never love anyone again the way he loved Emily. That was so sad; Sam was such a good man, he deserved to be happy with someone who loved him just as much back. At least for now, I could do this for him. We could hook up without any expectations on either side and we could still be friends. He knew I loved Jake and I knew he loved Emily. We were both helping each other, if it was possible to look at it that way.

I bit my lip, smiling wider as I finished up the last two orders I had, thinking of the bold purchase I'd made at Victoria's Secret earlier in the day. I couldn't wait to give Sam his last present of the night.


	3. Flashback 3: Pizza

**A/N: So this is really going back. It's another flashback, but this time it'll be while Jake is living with Bella and Ness, involved with the latter. In here, Bella's fifteen, very close to sixteen. I'd say probably a few months before if not sooner. Bella's feelings towards Jake haven't quite changed yet and obviously, it's a ways off before she even registers on Jake's radar as being older but since Bella's feelings changed first, this kind of shows how things start to approach those changes if you will.**

* * *

Things got slightly...weird after a while. Something seemed to change and I couldn't identify exactly what it was.

It began one night that Mom was out with Aunt Alice, having a girl's night or something, and Jake and I were home by ourselves. Jake had told me to order a pizza while he showered when he got home from work. I called it in and went to set up the movie we had picked.

I glanced here and there but couldn't find the DVD jacket anywhere. I then remembered I had left it upstairs in my room. I hurried up there and right before I reached the last step, I saw movement out of the corner of my eye. My head snapped up and what I saw caught me by surprise.

The bathroom door was open just a crack and Jake was drying himself off. He had fresh jeans on and his toothbrush in his mouth, studying his reflection in the mirror as he rubbed his hair with the towel. Nothing I hadn't seen or caught a glimpse of before. The man lived with us after all, being engaged to my mother and all. But, this time it was different.

I found myself frozen in place, staring. My eyes took in every dip and curve of his perfect physique, greedily poring over every inch of skin that was bared to me. I dug my teeth into my bottom lip as I focused on his waist line and allowed my gaze to move south. The man had a perfect butt, there was no other way to put it, even if it was rancid at times. Yes, living in the same household, I had had the unfortunate experience of stepping into the bathroom innocently unaware that Jake had occupied it before me; a fact that I soon learned by it literally smacking me in the face. And Jake was a guy, so naturally there were fart jokes, moments I couldn't breathe and overall potty humor; it pretty much came with the territory. But, none of that mattered now as I ogled him. I could feel myself starting to break out into a sweat. My eyes slowly started to trail across his hip to the other side when I immediately came to.

Jake had opened the door wider and stepped out, catching me in my paralyzed state. A huge smile formed on his face and a weird feeling took root in my stomach. "Hey, Bells. The pizza get here yet?" He continued to rub his hair dry as he waited for my answer.

My mouth slowly opened but my gaze dropped to the top stair in front of me in shame and...confusion. I felt my face immediately heat, it was unavoidable being an automatic reaction of mine (which I desperately hated). I quickly closed my mouth and swallowed, clearing my throat quietly as possible. "Um, no. Not yet."

"Okay. Well, I'll be down in a minute."

My eyes snapped up and caught him at the last minute smiling wider at me before disappearing around the corner to head into his bedroom, my mother's bedroom, _their_ bedroom. I suddenly felt sick to my stomach as I realized I had been checking out Jake, my mother's fiance, the man who was like an older brother to me. I was so disgusted with myself. What the hell had I been thinking?

I hurried into my room, found the DVD and nearly ran back downstairs. I needed to put as much distance between Jake and I as possible. I popped the disc into the player, hoping to distract myself. Unfortunately, fate had never been my friend. The doorbell rang and I had to jump up to answer the door. I grabbed the money Jake had left on the foyer table and greeted the pizza delivery guy. During the exchange, I heard Jake's heavy footsteps descending behind me. My anxiety began to increase and my cheeks were burning. I could see the guy in front of me, watching, wondering what deal my was. I simply smiled at him, handed him his tip and thanked him. As I closed the door, I turned around to find Jake not even a foot away from me. I jumped, gasping, in reaction to him startling me. I knew he had been behind me but no idea just how close.

He chuckled and took the box from me. I couldn't begin to describe how grateful I was that our hands did not touch in the transfer of the pizza from me to him. "Easy, Bells. It's only me." Yeah, only him, the guy I had found every single cell in my body reacting to only a few minutes prior; the guy who belonged wholly to my mother.

I forced myself to react as I normally did, rolling my eyes and hitting his arm, where his t-shirt covered the skin of course. I followed him into the kitchen, keeping my eyes trained everywhere else except on him. He placed the pizza on the counter and opened the box. "Can you grab a couple of plates?"

I was long gone by that time, escaping to the laundry room. "Sure, just give me a minute," I called, not entirely sure why I was hiding among piles and piles of dirty clothes. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, trying to calm the panic and unease I felt coursing through my system. What the hell was wrong with me? I was acting like a teen with a crush. I was acting like Jess. That made me wince and I decided to throw a load in while I was in here.

Jess. Jess who had always gone on and on about how hot Jake was. How she wished she were older so he would notice her. She was convinced that if this were the case, Jake would leave my mom for her in an instant, falling helplessly in love at first sight. I usually brought her back down to earth by informing her that Jake was married, to my mother and was not into teens who listened to One Direction every hour on the hour. She hated me for it, but it was nothing but the truth.

I set the cycle and stood there, watching as the machine began to fill with water. I was being ridiculous. Jake was an attractive guy; I had always known that. I had never liked him in that way, had never considered him a hot guy to drool over with the girls. Maybe if I had seen him on the street or walked into his shop one day, he might have become the most recent man to star in my white knight fantasies. But, that wasn't reality; Jake had started to date my mother which meant he was off limits, even from the simple teenage crush vantage point. I had always liked Jake but never saw him in _that _light.

Jake was a goofball I adored, my best guy friend for all intents and purposes. He was the one who looked out for me when my own mother was incapable in certain areas of her parental responsibilities, trying to relieve my shoulders of that burden when he could. He was the guy who knew what I looked like in the morning, who had seen me get sick, who had witnessed me cry on more than one occasion (usually due to something concerning my mother, i.e. her latest insults) and who was now looking at me strangely.

I jumped again, gasping, holding a hand to my chest.

"Whoa. Easy. It's just me. Where are the extra paper towels? I thought they'd be under the sink but I didn't see them." I took a deep breath and moved across the room to the rack we kept extra household items on. I leaned up on my toes and grabbed the closest roll of paper towels. I decided rather than risk handing it back to him to toss it at him. He caught it and grinned happily. "Thanks."

I nodded but he was long gone.

"Hurry up, Bells," he called back to me. "I'm gonna start the movie in two minutes, whether you're there or not."

"Okay," I answered him. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "I'm fine," I assured myself. "It's just a freak moment, that's all. Jake is a good looking guy and he's closer to your age. That's all. It doesn't mean anything. I'll be fine." I opened my eyes, cleared my throat and left the laundry room, determined to prove to myself I had nothing to worry about.

...

I was so determined that even Jake noticed my awkwardness. He asked me what was wrong when I didn't sit with him like I usually did. I told him I was fine, just tired and worried that if I sat on the couch at all, I'd fall asleep. He narrowed his eyes at me in a scrutinizing way but after a moment, he shrugged and went back to eating his pizza.

Tonight's feature, Underworld: Evolution, was doing nothing to help keep my mind off of my very physical awareness of my twenty six year old soon-to-be stepfather, my best friend, my Jake. That thought alone made me wince and focus on the screen even more.

Unfortunately, not that long into the movie, a love scene came up between the two main characters and while it wasn't full nudity and there were no moaning sounds (Thank God, I didn't need to be reminded of Mom just now), I still blushed and averted my eyes to my lap.

"Huh. I gotta say, I'm surprised this didn't happen sooner, like in the first movie. You could tell she totally wanted to hook up with him, ever since she laid eyes on him." I didn't say a word and I refused to look up. Then I heard a snicker. "Oh come on, Bells. Don't tell me you're embarrassed. It's not real, not like a porno or something. They're not even showing the good stuff." I shrugged and focused on my nails, waiting for the telltale music to wind down, letting me know when I could lift my eyes back to the screen. "Wimp."

My eyes snapped up to his. "I am not a wimp."

He smirked at me. "Oh yeah? Prove it." He picked up the remote and rewound the love scene and started playing it again. "Watch one second of this without blushing or looking away." I glared at him and he just smirked wider, crossing his arms.

Any other night, I would have taken that challenge and beaten him at his own game. But, not tonight. I was way too wound up and way too uncomfortable considering what I had been thinking when I saw him shirtless earlier. I stood up. "Sounds like it's time for popcorn."

Jake laughed and lunged for me as I passed him, pulling me into his lap sideways and making me shriek. He kissed my forehead and held me tightly to him. "You crack me up, Bells." I felt like I was about to have a heart attack. Especially, when he looked down at me, being only a few inches away, his brows furrowing. "What's up with you tonight?" He asked, concerned.

"N-Nothing," I struggled to get out. "Can you let me up now, please?"

His eyes narrowed down at me again. "Bells, you're acting weird. What's bothering you?"

Oh, God. Only you. Only the fact that I'm kind of hoping you'll completely cover me with your whole body and press me into the couch. Only the knowledge that I want you to plant one on me. Wait, what? I started to breathe faster. That roiling in my stomach was back. I started to sweat but shivered as he stared at me. Oh, God.

He noticed me nearly hyperventilating now. "Bells, what the fuck is going on? You're freaking me out. Did I do something wrong? Are you mad at me or something?"

I shook my head. Great, now that fluttering in my stomach was getting bigger. Please, dear God, let him pull me up right now so I can leave the room before I say or do something I might regret.

"Did something happen?" God must have heard me because Jake sat me up and cupped my cheeks, looking into my face. "You're all flushed and you're really warm. Are you feeling okay? Honey, talk to me."

That did it. I needed to go. Now.

I scrambled away from him and off of my feet. I hurried out of the living room, ignoring him calling for me, and I broke into a run in the hallway. I didn't stop until I reached the downstairs bathroom and locked the door behind me. I dropped to my knees and lifted the toilet lid just in time.

Once I was finished, I closed the lid and flushed the toilet, sitting back against the opposite wall, hugging my knees.

"Bells, are you alright? Please let me in." He sounded panicked.

"I-I'm fine," I croaked out. "I think I have a virus." That brought me up short. Yes, a virus. That explained all the weird thoughts I had been having about Jake, the constant heat in my face, the uneasiness of being off balance when Jake had me on my back across his legs. I somehow knew I was about to get sick even before I felt it and that's why Jake being so close made me uncomfortable. Oh, thank God.

"Please let me in, Bells" he pleaded quieter this time, sounding distressed. I couldn't take that tone, knowing I was making him worry needlessly. I crawled over and unlocked the door, crawling back to my spot near the toilet. I heard the door open and when I sat up, Jake was there, squatting down next to me, the back of his hand on my forehead. I watched his dark eyes assess me and the concern in them touched me deeply, as they always had. Jake was really the only one that seemed to care about me. At least here, in my everyday life. Grandparents in another state who only visited twice a year didn't count.

"You don't feel like you have a fever," he murmured. He laid both hands on my cheeks, his brows pulling together. "Did you just start to feel sick now or earlier?" He got up, took one of the handtowels from the towel rack, wet it with cold water and placed it against my forehead lightly.

I closed my eyes, reveling in the cool temperature yet shivering at the same time. "Earlier. When you were in the shower." Well, really after his shower, but he didn't need to know that specific detail.

"Oh, honey," he said sadly. "Why didn't you tell me? And you ate that pizza..." He sighed and leaned forward, pressing a kiss to my clammy brow, below where the towel was. "You think you might get sick again?"

I shook my head very slowly. "Nothing left to get sick," I mumbled. I suddenly felt very weak and my head fell tiredly to my knees. Had my body felt sore like this before I had run to the bathroom? I felt like I had run my body into the ground and could barely move without wincing in pain.

He stared at me sadly, kissed my forehead again and then reached down, scooping me into his arms. He carried me upstairs into my room and laid me gently on my bed. He smoothed my damp hair away from my face. "Do you want to change into something you can sleep in?"

I was still weak but I knew I could manage this one task, no matter how long it might take. I nodded once. He kissed my forehead again and stroked my cheek. "Alright. I'll be right back. I'm gonna grab you some water and a bucket." I nodded once again, closing my eyes. I felt him kiss my forehead one more time and then heard the door shut quietly.

I did not want to get up but I also did not want to sleep in the clothes I'd worn today. I slowly and reluctantly sat up, opened my eyes and got to my feet. I walked to the dresser and pulled out my pajamas. How did this hit me so fast? I changed as well as I could, dragging as I slipped my shorts on.

By the time Jake knocked softly and came back in, I had somehow managed to get back into bed and pull the covers over me. I was way too hot under this down blanket but way too cold to have it off. I had my back to Jake and my eyes were closed. I heard the click of the light and felt Jake sit down next to me. "Do you want a little water?" I shook my head just once. "Okay. I'm gonna leave it on the table here and the bucket next to your bed." I nodded slowly.

I fully expected him to get up and leave me to sleep. "You should go," I croaked out. "I don't want to get you sick. You don't want this, trust me."

He sighed and I felt the weight lift off of the mattress. But then, I felt him getting into bed next to me.

"Jake," I protested. "Don't. You'll get sick."

He snuggled up behind me and wrapped an arm around me. "I don't care about that," he said softly. "You hate being alone when you're sick and I'm not leaving you."

I could feel my eyes start to burn under my eyelids. How did he know that? I had never told him. Mom didn't even know that. Usually, when I was sick, I nursed myself through it. Mom would take me to the doctor, sure, but only when I insisted I needed to go. As I got older, I learned how to care for myself better and what to take and what to do for each illness. Jake had only seen me with the common cold a few times since he met my mom. I had never been this bad but when I stayed home, he would either call in sick, too, and stay with me or he would call a couple of times to check on me throughout the day and come home for lunch, usually bringing me some soup or ice cream (if I had a sore throat). I appreciated his thoughtfulness but by then, I was used to being alone and taking care of myself. I never told Jake how I really felt, that I hated those times when I was at my worst, that I wished I had someone there to hold me, rub my back and run their fingers through my hair soothingly like they would a small child. I didn't know why I felt that way, why I yearned for it each time I got really sick, but it always popped up all the same.

"Thank you."

He nuzzled the back of my head. "Get some rest, honey."

I felt around for his hand and held onto it. I relaxed when he interlaced our fingers and squeezed. "Jake."

"Yeah, Bells?"

I had no idea where the words came from next. I would just attribute it to the virus I had. "Don't ever leave me. Please," I whispered.

"Oh, honey." He kissed the side of my head before laying his gently above mine on the pillow. "I won't ever leave you, Bells. Ever. I don't think I could even if I wanted to," he whispered back. He tenderly started to stroke my hair from behind.

I knew I should ask him what he meant by that but by then, I was drifting off to sleep, feeling warm and loved and well cared for, for the first time in years.

...

"Okay, so, I'm thinking you've made me sit through three Princess movies, so now we're gonna watch...Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs."

I grimaced. "Jake, that kills the whole Disney tradition of when I'm sick. Notice how Disney was in the name of that tradition."

He shrugged and popped the disc into the player. "Kid movies are kid movies. It's still somewhat animated. And this one is about food. Come on. Please," he begged, giving me the puppydog face.

I laughed and shook my head, laying back down on the pillow. The man loved his food, even fake food in a 3-D animated movie. "Okay," I relented. He grinned at me and started the movie.

Jake turned around and picked up the empty mug from the coffee table. "Think you can handle a little bit more?"

I grimaced slightly and shook my head.

"Okay. I'll just go throw this in the sink. Be right back. You want anything?"

I smiled and shook my head again.

"Okay," he smiled as he made his way to me and kissed my forehead. He then disappeared around the corner and I settled down into my pillow more, sighing contentedly. I begged Jake not to take off work, trying to assure him that I would be alright, but he wouldn't hear of it. Honestly, I was secretly glad he was here. Even though I could take care of myself, it was nice to have someone with me. Especially if that someone was Jake.

A few minutes later, he joined me on the couch. It was a tight fit but he managed to get behind me and I snuggled back into him. He covered us with the blanket and softly laid his head against mine to watch the movie.

"Man, this couch sucks," he complained. "I've gotta get a better one. Sheesh."

I chuckled. "You're lucky I'm too weak to lecture you on spending your money."

"Aww," He kissed my cheek before laying back down again. "If you're not going on about credit scores and the interest rates on payment plans, then you're really not feeling well." He tightened his arms around me and cuddled into me. "Poor thing."

I shook my head, smirking. "Shut up and watch the movie."

"Yes, ma'am."

….

Somehow, even on that small couch, Jake and I fell asleep. The next time I woke up, it was close to four and Jake was snoring softly in my ear. I smiled and closed my eyes again, letting my hand find his that was around my midsection underneath the blanket and took it into my own.

He stirred slightly and burrowed into my neck. "Bells?" He asked sleepily. "Y'okay?"

I nodded and lifted our hands, kissing his. "I'm fine. Go back to sleep," I whispered. I brought our hands back to their original position and it made me smile wider when he interlaced our fingers like usual.

"'Kay." Two minutes hadn't passed by before he was asleep again.

I was going to join him but I was slightly uncomfortable, being in this position for hours on this too small couch. I slowly and carefully turned in his arms and unfortunately, he woke, his eyes cracked open halfway, watching me as I moved. "You're right. This couch does suck."

He gave me a sleepy smile and waited until I adjusted enough to be able to snuggle into him, facing him. "You good?" He croaked out.

I nodded and he wrapped his arms around me, encasing me in his warmth and I sighed happily as I settled into him, eyes closed.

"'Night, kid."

"Mmm. 'Night."

I felt his lips brush near my hairline but linger there and soon, he was asleep again, blowing warm air onto my scalp. I moved just a tiny bit, luckily not waking him again, and now my head was laying on his chest. I heard his deep breathing above me, lulling me into a peaceful sleep.


	4. Flashback 4: Emily

**A/N: This is just a short flashback/convo scene where Jake explains to Bella what happened in the past between he, Emily and Sam from his own POV. **

* * *

He stared at me and I met his intense gaze head on. What was going on inside that man's head?

He finally turned away. "Let's go in. There's some things we need to talk about before we turn in for the night." He took the keys out of the ignition and got out of the truck. He headed up to the house, not looking to see if I was following him.

My brows furrowed as I watched him. What on earth...? I sighed and opened my door. I followed his trek and stepped inside to find him sitting in the living room, his eyes fixed on the coffee table in the middle. I walked over to the couch he was on and sat down, waiting for him to say what he felt he had to.

"Look, I told you that I wouldn't hold anything back from you anymore and before this weekend has a chance to turn into even more shit, I'm gonna tell you about my past." He turned to look at me. "I'm not proud of it. But, it's done and I've learned from it. Sam's moved past it. So have I."

I nodded.

He exhaled heavily and ran a hand through his hair, turning back to the table. "You obviously know Emily was my first girlfriend?" He didn't wait for me to respond. "We got together in the eighth grade and we dated up until graduation. I loved her, wanted to marry her, the whole deal. She was going away to school. I wasn't. We talked about it and agreed that we would put our relationship on hold while she was away. We both had heard plenty of times that long distance relationships didn't work and we thought it'd be the best thing for us in the end. We agreed that when she came back to the rez after she got her degree and still wanted to be with me and I with her, then we would get back together, get our own place and get married. I talked to her on and off while she was at school over the years. I dated a few girls but none of them were really serious. She had dated a few guys but none of them really panned out. The closer and closer she got to graduating, it looked more and more like it was gonna work out for us; that the dream of us getting married and settling down was becoming more and more a reality. We still loved each other." He rubbed his face tiredly. "The time came that she was coming back to the rez and we agreed to meet and talk, see where things went. I was...so happy, Bells. I thought this was it. I was gonna marry the woman I was in love with and we were gonna have kids, live on the rez, close to our families and friends and just be happy, you know?"

I nodded, keeping quiet since he seemed to be reliving the memory.

"I was so in love with her, I would have done anything for her. I never told her but I had saved up to buy her an engagement ring in case this exact moment happened. A week before she was to come back here, I bought her one. Nothing fancy, I didn't have _that_ much money but something small, pretty and right to the point. I even customized the design, adding in dolphins on the sides of the band. The girl was crazy about dolphins, don't ask me why." He chuckled. "We have whales right here in La Push but it was always dolphins."

His smile faded and he cleared his throat. "Anyway, I got the ring and I was getting antsy waiting for her so I made sure to put in overtime that week. Just to keep my mind busy, you know? The time would pass faster... Well, the day came and I had offered to pick her up at the airport but she said that Harry was already planning on it. I told her I'd catch a ride with him so I could see her but she told me that there wouldn't be much room in the pick-up he was driving and she had all of her stuff to bring back. So, I said okay, I'll see you when you guys get here. When it was time for her to be picked up, I hurried to finish up at work so I could leave early. I came back here and Becca was out with her friends, Dad was going over to Harry's, Charlie was gonna pick him up. I cooked dinner, or attempted to anyway. Dad just laughed as he watched me trying to make things perfect for her. It was all in good fun; he knew how happy I was and how long I'd waited for her. He also knew I was going to propose if we got back together; I'd shown him the ring." He dropped his eyes to his hand, rubbing his bare ring finger with his thumb and index finger. "Charlie came and got Dad. When they left, I set the table and did some last minute cleaning up. I showered and changed. I went and pulled out the roses I had bought after work out of the back of my truck and brought them in. I feel like an idiot admitting this but I bought tons and tons of bouquets. I used up about seven months of pay just to get them." He chuckled again. "What am I saying? I _was_ an idiot. Anyway, I arranged the flowers everywhere I could think of. The kitchen was just filled with them. I waited for the time she said she'd be coming home but soon it passed. I figured maybe her flight had been delayed, you know, or they'd hit traffic on the way back so I gave it an extra hour. When she still didn't show, I called her phone which would ring but go to voice mail. I left her a message asking her if she was close by. She never called me back. I texted her but still no response. Now it was three hours past the time she was due and I was worried something had happened. I called Sue's and asked her if Harry and Emily were back yet. She sounded kind of funny, like she thought I was nuts or something, and told me yes, they were back. I was relieved that nothing had happened so I asked if Emily was there and if I could speak to her. Sue said she wasn't home but when Leah came back, she'd ask her if she knew where she was and call me back. I thanked her and hung up, wondering what the hell was going on."

I wanted to move closer to him, take his hand in mine, hold him, kiss his cheek, anything to comfort him. I had a feeling I knew where this was going. But, I didn't know if he wanted me to do anything like that, so I stayed still.

He licked his lips. "Sue didn't call me back. Instead, Charlie brought Dad back home. I was kind of embarrassed that they saw all the flowers and everything but it didn't matter when I saw Dad's face. I asked him if he had seen Emily or knew where she was; that she still wasn't answering her phone. He asked me to sit down, said he wanted to talk to me. I did and he told me that he had just had a talk with Harry and he found out that he had gone to pick up Emily three days earlier. When I had spoken to her the day before, she had already been in La Push." He sighed. "I was kind of in shock, not understanding why she would lie to me. It didn't make any sense. But then Dad told me the real reason. Emily was at Sam's and according to what Emily had told Sue when she came back, she had been seeing Sam for a while. Apparently, Sam went out to visit her at school and everything. They did the long distance thing." He shook his head. "The funny thing is that I had kept asking her if I could come visit and she had always had one reason or another why I couldn't. I respected it because I didn't want to push her. I had wanted to do the long distance thing, to at least try, but she hadn't wanted to so that's when we decided to put things on hold while she went to school. She had been lying to me for the last year."

I didn't care what Jake wanted, I went to him and hugged his arm, intertwining our fingers. He laid his head against mine. "How did she and Sam...start?" I asked gently.

"Apparently, it had been the one time Em had come back to visit. She had seen me then of course and since I was single and she supposedly was, too, we hooked up a few times, kind of had a fling while she was here those two weeks. But, I guess she met Sam at some get-together or something. I forget who was throwing it. They had talked that night and according to Sam, went out on a date while she was here even. When she went back to school, they emailed and texted and called each other. They made it work. When Em was getting ready to graduate, she made plans to see Sam. So, when Harry brought her back and helped her settle back in, she went to see him and had been with him every day. She had been lying to me the whole time. And the best part is Sam didn't know about me like I didn't know about him. Sam thought she and I were over after high school. At least, that's what she told him. She had been playing us both."

I leaned in and kissed his cheek. "She didn't deserve you," I murmured. He smiled sadly at me and pulled me into him more, kissing my forehead in thanks.

"Bottom line, I had been played, majorly. Somehow she kept me and Sam from knowing about each other and she also somehow kept it a secret around here. There's no secrets on the rez. So, she really covered her tracks, so to speak. It hurt like hell and I had a hard time believing she had done that to me but it soon became obvious that I couldn't ignore it. Her and Sam were seen around the rez, very much together. I called her a few times but she either didn't pick up or she turned her phone off. She never answered my messages or texts. She even had Sam pick up once to tell me to leave her alone and then hung up before I could say anything back. I would drive to Sue's to see her but Sue or Harry would meet me out front, telling me she either wasn't home or that she didn't want to see me. They felt bad, I know they did, but what could they do? I didn't blame them at all. Then I heard she moved into Sam's and that just hurt worse. I knew she had taken a teaching position at the high school so one day, I went there. I caught her in her classroom after school had let out. She kept telling me to leave or she would have me removed. I told her I wasn't there to hurt her or bother her, but I just had to know one thing. Why did she do this to me and why did she cheat on me? But most of all, why did she lie to me? If she never intended to be with me again, why act like she would be? She only answered a part of the question. She said that we were technically broken up and she was free to date whoever she wanted; it wasn't cheating. And that was it. She told me to leave or she'd call for help. I just shook my head and left, in a daze. I couldn't believe she had strung me along with promises, telling me she couldn't wait to see me, couldn't wait to be with me again. She really did a fucking number on me," he ended quietly.

I squeezed his hand in support. He smiled at me and lifted my hand to kiss it. He then sighed and laid his head back against the cushion. "It was about, I don't know, six months later? I saw her at a party and instead of pushing me away or claiming I was stalking her, she just smiled at me. I was in shock. It was like the old Emily was there and the other one, her heartless bitch of a twin, was on vacation or something. She approached me and asked me how I was doing. I wasn't sure what to think so I just went with the flow. I asked her to go outside to talk; I had been drinking and wasn't drunk but buzzed pretty good. Everything after that was kind of a blur. The next thing I remember, she and I were...being intimate," I grimaced and Jake's cheeks darkened as he looked away. "In the truck. My old one, not the one outside. We had driven to one of our old makeout spots and when we were done, we came back. When we got out of the car, Sam was standing right there with Sue; he had been working real late because he was taking the next week off so they could spend some time together away from the rez so he only got there shortly before. Unfortunately, he got there to see me talking to Emily and when he went to come over, we disappeared outside. So, he knew we had driven off and what had happened. Emily rushed into the house, ashamed and wouldn't look at Sam or Sue. She wouldn't even talk to Sam. Sam! The guy she had chosen over me and supposedly was in love with. Sam came after me and knowing I had fucked up I let him do whatever he wanted; I deserved it. I knew what it felt like to be cheated on, no matter what Emily had said about our _break_. He knocked me to the ground and took swings at me nonstop until Sue begged him to stop. He got up, said something to her and then kicked me in the stomach. He took my keys and sped off with the truck. We had no idea what he'd gone to do when we got a call from Charlie, saying that Sam had crashed into a tree in Forks. He had been drinking heavily while he drove, lost control and then bam. It was a miracle he wasn't hurt worse than a few broken ribs and a concussion. I'm grateful it wasn't fucking worse."

Jake was back in the memory of the story he was telling. "I felt so goddamn bad. I never regretted anything like I had that night, especially when some people from the rez were convinced he had tried to kill himself." He sighed sadly and hugged me. "That's why Sam went east, you know; to start over as far away as possible. He didn't want to be here anymore not just because of the rumors but also because of Emily still being here. It turned out that he had asked her to marry him a few days before all this happened and she had accepted. He was waiting to get his mother's ring back from the jewelers; he was having it resized and cleaned up. He was gonna pick it up before they left the next week and give it to her when they were away." He ran a hand through his hair. "Sam found out about how she had lied to him back when they were first dating, that I had been in the picture the whole time and with what happened that night, he just couldn't take it. That's what prompted him to get out of here."

"You and Sam seem so close now..." I whispered.

He smiled. "We are. He's one of the best friends I have. Sam's done a lot for me and I'm grateful to the guy. After he started out there, he asked Jared to come out and help him. Jared wasn't really getting a lot of work around here so he did. Sam came back one weekend to help him move. They stopped at Harry's to get a bite to eat since Sue was having another dinner. I happened to be there and even though I figured he'd kick my ass, I wanted to do the right thing. So I manned up and pulled him aside. I apologized to him and told him that he was a good guy, that I never meant to hurt him like that. Instead of wanting to kill me, shockingly, he was cordial about it and he actually ended up apologizing to me for everything that went down when Emily came back from school. So, we got to talking and we ended up working things out. We left on good terms and a few months down the road, Sam called me out of the blue and asked me if I would give him and Jared a hand. I wanted out of here for a while, a clean start, so I told him I would. I moved out there two and a half weeks later. It wasn't too long after, we heard that Emily moved away from here, starting fresh elsewhere."

"I'm so glad you and Sam don't have to deal with that anymore." I rubbed his hand in mine comfortingly.

He chuckled. "Sam and I feel exactly the same way. The guy's almost like a brother to me." He looked over at me. "That's in the past, a part of my history, as ashamed of it as I am. That was years ago and you see now that Sam's moved on and forgiven me. I can't say the same for Emily but that's between them. I haven't seen her or talked to her since that night. Until today, that is." He stroked my cheek gently.

I turned my head and kissed his left palm before looking back at him. "So, is that what she was talking about? That you broke up her engagement?"

He snorted. "Yep. Man, had Sam heard her saying that shit, he would not have been as calm as I was, I can tell you that. He really loved her. Possibly even more than I did, if you can believe that. And she broke him, much worse than what she ever put me through. He still hasn't really gotten over her but...he won't go back. Never again. So, he just focuses on work and hanging with us guys."

"Seems lonely," I said sadly. "Just work and the guys? No dates at all?"

Jake shrugged. "He's doing alright, Bells, much better than back when this happened. Things are the way he wants them. No real attachments. Maybe that'll change one day if he meets the right girl but for now, he's good."

I nodded, still sad. "Well, he is getting the biggest hug from me when we get back. It's going to break records."

Jake laughed. "Break records? Ah, Bells, what would I do without you?"

"Nothing," I grinned. "You'd be bored."

He smiled wide. "Very bored." He then hugged me tightly, kissing the side of my head.


	5. Flashback 5: Meeting Dad

**A/N: This is the scene where Bella meets Edward for the first time. She's sixteen here and Edward will explain why she hasn't met him before now.**

* * *

I opened the door to step outside when I was met with an unfamiliar face. He gave me an uncertain smile. "Hi. Are you Bella?"

I didn't say anything, just nodded. He grinned fully and stuck out his hand. "I'm Edward Masen." His eyes raked over me, taking in every detail, especially my face. "Your father."

…

Here the four of us sat uncomfortably. Me in a chair with my arms crossed, Jake and Mom on the couch with….Dad I guess I should call him in another chair across from me, all of us gathered around the coffee table.

I studied the man as discreetly as I could. I obviously didn't have his hair color; his was a sort of bronze type shade. I did have his eye color though which I was glad to see; both of us able to claim we both had hazel. He was pale, though not as pale as me. My mom was less pale than me, too; I had no idea where that came from. I was surprised yet pleased to see that his eyes held a spot of warmth in them, especially when they were on me, which admittedly shocked me.

I kept catching his eyes on me at the most random of times and I won't lie, it unnerved me a little; I was still getting used to the fact that I had a dad who suddenly wanted to see me. When I caught him for the eighth time, he cleared his throat nervously. "You've gotten so big, Bella. I almost didn't recognize you from your picture."

My brows furrowed at that. "Picture?"

"When you were five and you had that cute little dress on, your first day in kindergarten, with the little kittens on the front?" He smiled at me.

"Wait, how did you get a picture of me?"

His brows furrowed as well. "Didn't your mother tell you? She assured me she would explain it all to you before I arrived when we spoke on the phone." He turned a confused look on my mom as did Jake and I. She looked more nervous than usual. Something told me I wasn't going to like what she had to say.

She faced me, her eyes watering and looking at me pleadingly. "Bella, please understand that I did what I thought was best for you at the time. I was trying to protect you from getting hurt." This was not sounding good, at all.

I turned back to my father. "Tell me what, er…Mr. Masen?"

His eyes tightened but he smiled softly. "I know it would be too much to hope that you would call me Father or Dad but please, call me Edward." I nodded and he sat forward, hunching over onto his knees, staring at me intently. "What exactly has your mother told you about me?"

I shrugged. "She said that she met you while she was married to Felix. She said you two had an affair and I was the end result." I noticed he grimaced when I went over that part. "She said that you found out about me and split." He nodded and I glared at him for even agreeing with me, not looking remorseful whatsoever. "And she never heard from you again. She said you wanted absolutely nothing to do with me, that you didn't even want to know that I existed and that was it."

I saw my father's polite smile fade and turn into something much darker. I saw his eyes flash like I had seen Jake's do so many times; the difference was his scared me while Jake's didn't, not like this. I then watched him snap them to my mother who was almost cowering underneath his hateful gaze. "That's what you've been telling her?" He hissed. "All of these years?"

My mom was nearly whimpering in fear and I noticed she moved a few inches closer to Jake on the couch.

"Renesmee," Edward growled. Oooh, he was using her full name when everyone who knew her knew that she despised being called it. I was sure I would see her jump up and yell but she didn't. She only leaned into Jake. I watched disgustedly as Jake wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her in closer. I scoffed quietly and turned back to Edward when he spoke. "So let me see if I have this straight, Renesmee, I'm not good enough to be in Bella's life but I'm good enough to take checks from every month for the last eleven years?"

My head shot up. "Checks?" I asked without thinking. His eyes turned to me and softened slightly.

"Yes. Ever since you were five years old, I have been sending your mother checks every month to support you and pay for what you needed. Clothing, food, school supplies, whatever you needed at that time. Obviously, she never told you that, either." I shook my head in shock and he sighed, running a hand through his bronze hair. "Bella, it's true what your mother told you. I did leave when I found out she was pregnant. It's inexcusable but I was scared and nowhere near ready to handle a child. I wanted nothing more to do with your mother and I figured if I left before I gave you a thought, I'd be fine. I also figured your mother would stay married to Felix, knowing her, and you would have the parents you needed but I had no idea Felix would instead turn around and divorce her." He sighed again, looking at me sadly. "After a time, I began to wonder if you had been born yet, what you looked like, what your mother had named you and as crazy as it sounds, I had never even met you but I missed you, so much."

Tears started to burn at the corners of my eyes. Was this true?

"I was in Phoenix at the time, working a new position in a sister company of the one I had worked for out here. I tried to call your mother a couple of times to ask her if I could see you but she kept hanging up on me, not willing to let me since I had left the two of you. I asked her for just a name and she refused. It drove me insane. I wanted to know my daughter. Even if I only saw you once, I would be content with that. But, your mother kept refusing me until finally I chose to return, hired a lawyer and tried to fight for joint custody. By that time, your grandmother had snuck a picture to me of you when you were a year and a half old and I absolutely fell in love with you." His eyes misted as he continued. "You were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen and you had my eyes," he smiled warmly. "You had your mother's hair but you had my eyes." He cleared his throat, presumably to remove the lump in his throat. "I wanted my daughter but your mother," he hissed as he turned a ferocious glare on her. I didn't have the courage to look at her yet. I kept my eyes trained on him. "Found out I was engaged to someone else who had moved back here with me." He then turned a softer gaze back to me. "She lost it completely and I knew I had to not only fight for visitation rights but also for sole custody for any hope of seeing you. Your grandmother's always been a kind soul, always been fair to me and has always seen your mother for what she was when she decided to be vindictive," he snarled as his eyes snapped to her again. "Your grandfather on the other hand, hated me with a passion." He looked to me once more. "Do you know what he does for a living, Bella?"

I nodded and answered him robotically. "He works in the courts."

Edward smiled proudly at me. "Yes. He's a judge. No matter how hard I fought, I was never able to get custody nor any visitation rights, even supervised. Your mother concocted some story about one night when we had been in my apartment that she had come out with a black eye. It was true but not because I hit her, Bella. I've never hit a woman in my life, though I've wanted to," His eyes bore into my mother once again. Well, now I could see where I got my way with words and witty comebacks from; my mother only had a talent for nastiness and demeaning others. "I was trying to open a cabinet door in my kitchen that was stuck and unfortunately, your mother was standing too close and when I slipped, my elbow went right into her eye. I tried to put ice on it and kept apologizing to her, but she still had a black eye. So, during our custody battle, she claimed that I had hit her when we were fighting over you after I discovered your existence and since the physical evidence had been there and because she had to go to the emergency room to make sure she was alright, that helped to sink my ship even further. With your grandfather's influence in the family courts and your mother insisting I was nothing more than a danger to you, I lost the fight. I tried a few more times to appeal the decision but it ended up going nowhere." He swallowed and looked up at me again. "I was heartbroken. All I wanted was you, to know you, to be a part of your life and your mother used you like a pawn in battle, winning the war. My fiancée at the time, thank God, was very understanding and allowed me to put off our wedding for two years while I spent my money in the courts."

He watched me and I bit my lip to keep myself from breaking down and giving in to either the anger or the sadness warring within me; not until I knew the whole story. He then got to his feet and came over to me, sitting in front of me on the coffee table. "Bella, I regret leaving before you were born," he said quietly. "I wish I never had. I wish I had never been so foolish and so cowardly. I never despised you nor didn't want you to exist; I was convinced I wouldn't be a good father and as selfish as it is to say, I wanted away from your mother. At the time, I thought I was doing the right thing, for you, for me and believe it or not, your mother. I didn't realize what a huge mistake I was making. If I could go back and change it, I would in a heartbeat. Please know that," he pleaded. When I didn't respond, he reached out and took my hand tentatively. He smiled when he noticed I hadn't pulled away.

"I fought for three years, Bella. With every cent I had. I stopped after realizing I wouldn't be able to win against your grandfather and your mother combined. I had given up all hope. Your grandmother had been kind enough to keep sending me photos of you when she could and little updates, telling me things you were saying and doing, even the shows you were watching. She even sent me a few of the drawings you made for her," he chuckled. "Unfortunately, your mother found out about your grandmother's contact with me and told your grandfather. Not only did he threaten your grandmother but he also called and threatened me with more legal action. After that," he sighed sadly. "I just gave up, realizing I would never know my own daughter or be in her life. That was when you were five, when I received that last photo. When that happened, I had my lawyer contact your mother's lawyer and work out a deal where I would send a check every month to take care of your needs. We kept it all official, keeping record of every check. As my company grew, the checks had more sizeable amounts as time passed. I helped your mother to pay for this home." He looked around. "It's nice. She made a beautiful home for you." He smiled down at me and I stared back at him, blankly.

"Your mother contacted my lawyer yesterday and I immediately jumped on the opportunity. I cleared the whole day so I could make it down here by dinner time. I was shaking like a leaf but I was happy I was finally getting to meet you." He laid a hand against my cheek and stroked the skin softly. "And look at how much you've grown," he murmured.

The tears started to spill over and he frowned, wiping them away gently. "Do you still want me? As your daughter?" I choked out.

His face crumpled and I felt my heart start to wither away inside my chest. I shouldn't have asked. "Of course, I do, Bella. How could you think I wouldn't after everything I just told you? You mean the world to me. You're my daughter no matter what and I will always want you." The smile he started to give me faded before it could form fully. "The question is: do you want me in your life? As your father?"

I had another parent, who loved me and actually fought for me, who had never stopped wanting me. Was that even possible? I nodded slowly.

He smiled at me in relief. "Can you ever forgive me?"

I sniffled. "For what?"

"For giving up. For stopping the fight for you. For being so weak and easily defeated." I wanted to tell this man, my father, that it wasn't his fault he had been kept from me. And then my eyes flickered over to the real source who was still curled into Jake's side, frightened at my gaze. I knew then that everything Edward had said had been the truth. And I had never felt so betrayed. My eyes flicked back to my father. "Of course," I whispered. "I know how things go around here. What you've told me sadly doesn't surprise me." I then reached up and wiped my left cheek with my sleeve.

He stared into my eyes sadly but gave me a grateful smile. "Thank you."

I nodded and when he went to stand up, I launched myself at him, wrapping my arms around him tightly. I had surprised him but he cautiously returned the hug. Once he saw that I wasn't pulling away, he tightened his embrace. "My Bella," he whispered.

I wasn't sure what to say. I didn't even know what I was allowed to say. I didn't want to be that clingy, overly dependent daughter, the one that hugs your legs and doesn't permit you to leave. I didn't want to make him leave me ever again, now that I had him.

I saw my mother sobbing quietly as she watched us and when my eyes didn't leave her, she turned and cried into Jake's neck. His eyes were on the coffee table, absent-mindedly rubbing Mom's back. As I was about to look away, his eyes suddenly met mine. We stared at each other for the longest time and now I got what he was saying before when he lost his temper with me. How could I forgive my father for having a moment of doubt and not the man that I loved dearly who had the same thing? My mother hadn't forgiven my father and that had cost him the one thing he wanted most: me. If I never forgave Jake, what would that cost him? Me again or something else? I let a tear spill over as I mouthed 'I'm sorry' to him. He nodded slightly and mouthed back to me, 'Me, too.' I smiled over at him, causing another tear to fall. 'I love you', I mouthed. His expression softened and his eyes seemed to lose their stillness, misting a little. 'I love you, too, Bells.' I smiled wider and sniffled, closing my eyes and hugging my father even tighter to me.

….

My father had stayed, talking to me and asking me questions about my life for another two hours. I had actually managed to make him laugh which made my night. He seemed interested in every minute detail I had to share with him. I found out that he was still married to the same woman he had met in Phoenix. They had no children but not from lack of trying. I was Edward's only child. He lived in Massachusetts and had his own company there which was doing quite well and had flourished over the years. My stepmother, Esme, worked in publishing. He assured me she was a very kind woman and was looking forward to meeting me in the future if I was willing. I had smiled and nodded. I wanted to spend more time with my father; I wanted to know everything I could about him. As he said, we had a lot of time to make up for.

When he left, he said he would be in town another night and was staying at a local hotel. He gave me his cell phone number and told me to call him if I needed him. Otherwise, he would be back in the morning. I nodded and hugged him one more time before he walked out the door. I cannot tell you how weird yet how great a feeling it is to hug the father you never knew wanted you as much as you had wanted him all your life. I felt like I had just gotten the world's best gift and I didn't intend to waste one minute now that I had.


End file.
